Daily Archives: February 8, 2013

08

Feb. ’13

“Good job, Momma” (My first 10k – 11/12/12)

10k

Well, there we are. Jeff and I both finished our first 10k! It was a trail run and it was BRUTAL, but we made it out alive!

Now, my son Jeff would normally smoke me in something like this, but he was very tired and discouraged by this one. I caught up with him about the 4.5 mile mark. He was grumpy and determined to walk the rest of the way, but with a little cajoling from his determined momma, we both ended up run/walking our way to the finish in 1 hour and 22 minutes. Those last couple of miles made the whole race worth it. It was so nice getting to spend quality time with him like that, even if it was just trying to convince him to keep moving. I was very proud of him for pulling himself out of his feeling of defeat and pushing himself to finish strong. Once you’ve mentally given up, it’s very VERY hard to pull yourself back out of that mindset, but he did it. We even had a pretty funny moment…near the end of the race, he kept saying he had to go the bathroom and I was telling him to hang in there until we were finished. When I was trying to keep him pepped up and motivated, I told him that a friend of mine told me to just chant the mantra “push through; push through” over and over and it would help you keep going. He said, “I can’t say that – I’ll crap all over myself!” Lol.

Oh, and one more thing about the race before I close.

Before I realized that I was so close to catching up with him, I was running through a section where I thought I was alone. Through the woods (or in my mind?) I could have sworn I heard the words “Good job, Momma.” It sounded like Jeffrey, but I thought it couldn’t be. For two reasons. 1) There was no way I was that close to him. And 2) That’s not something he would normally say to me. Turns out I was wrong on both counts. It was him. It took me a while to catch up to him and to realize that it was him that had said it, but it sure made my day.

So there ya have it. A 10k in the books for me and my boy.

“Good job, Momma.”

~ 11/12/12 ~

Posted by . Categories: Running. Leave a comment

08

Feb. ’13

The Security Blanket of Grief

security blanket

My brain works in metaphors. It’s just how I roll. Jesus and I would’ve been tight. Just sayin’.

My latest thought topic: grief. Some people hang on to grief and loss for dear life. I’m not one of those people. I wallow in it for about three weeks (and boy, do I wallow), but then I forget it (well, mostly), and start the process of moving on. But some people aren’t like that. And those people fascinate me. It is such a mystery to me. Why do that? Why live your life holding on to something that is long gone? Then, this morning, it hit me.

Grief is a security blanket.

It’s familiar. It’s enveloping. It’s something to hide behind. No new grief can get in if you’re cloaked by the old, dependable, familiar grief. Right? (Hehe…get it? Cloaked? Once again, I astound myself with my wit. Sigh…)

But I digress.

So, yeah. Makes sense now. But here’s the deal.

During the cold, dark times – let’s call that Winter – that security blanket is pretty awesome. You can curl up in it and stay warm. All tucked in and safe. Content. Not ‘happy’ per se. But secure. Just you and your little blanket all alone in the world with no one to ‘get ya.’

But then, guess what? As it always does, Spring comes along. It’s warming up outside. Things are starting to look new. Fresh. Reborn. It’s time to get up off the couch and go outside. But what are you gonna do? Drag the blanket with you? At first, maybe that’s ok. I mean, Spring still has some chilly days, right? Go ahead, take it with you. Do what you have to do. But you know it’s starting to get cumbersome. Annoying.

And then after Spring, here comes Summer. Now that blanket is just a nuisance. It’s hot. It’s bulky. It’s a hindrance. It’s ridiculous. It’s unnecessary. Leave that thing. PUT IT DOWN. And I don’t mean fold it up and leave it on the end of the couch to come back home and curl up in later. I mean, throw that sh*t away. It’s ugly; it’s ratty; it’s no longer serving a purpose.

I understand. It was nice for a while. But now? It’s time to let it go. Uncurl from that silly cocoon and break free of what binds you.

Live.

~ 1/30/13 ~

Posted by . Categories: Freestyle Writings/Musings. Leave a comment

08

Feb. ’13

6:00 a.m. country song (Hey, it was 6:00 a.m. – give me a break…)

So, I just woke up the other morning from a dead sleep and these lyrics were in my head. No kidding. That doesn’t happen often, but when it does, I just get that junk out on paper. And here ya go. Hey, I’m sure Reba is gonna be beating my door down any minute, so you all can say you ‘knew me when…’ 😉

Honest Mistake

I owe you an apology for some confusion here tonight
See, I mistook you for someone I used to know
That man, when he saw me, would have held on to me tight
That man said he’d never let me go.
I hope you can forgive this case of mistaken identity
(It couldn’t be possible for one man to be so fake)
Surely that wasn’t you making those promises to me
I guess this was an honest mistake.
***
Chorus:
He sure looked a lot like you
You remind me of him
Same head of jet black hair
Same dimples; same sly grin
So sorry for bothering you
You must have more hearts to take
Continue what you were doing…
This was just an honest mistake.
***
Imagine how silly I feel just walking up to you like that
Expecting you to be the one I’d known so long
Don’t worry though, I’ll be fine; this won’t set me back
This is not the first time I’ve been wrong
No, thank you for the offer, but I cannot be your friend
The resemblance to him is hard to take
Go on back to your life, and I’ll go back to mine
This was just an honest mistake.
***
Repeat chorus:
He sure looked a lot like you
You remind me of him
Same head of jet black hair
Same dimples; same sly grin
So sorry for bothering you
You must have more hearts to take
Continue what you were doing…
This was just an honest mistake.
***
Tag:
Yes, go on with your life, and I’ll go back to mine
This was just an honest mistake.

~ 2/3/13 ~

songblog

Posted by . Categories: Songs. Tags: , , , , . Leave a comment