Tag Archives: motivation

Passive Aggressive

“This is passive-aggression in action.”
– Chuck Palahniuk

So, I was recently accused of writing a “passive aggressive” blog. (This one in particular.) And while I don’t feel the need to explain myself to anyone, this particular critique struck a nerve. And here’s why.

I’m going to define passive aggressive. Not using Webster or anything – no, this is 100% Melissa. Passive aggressive means that you get a point across in a sneaky way without being blunt and obvious. Am I right? Fair definition? Well, here’s what I say to that.

Duuuuuh!

This blog should be renamed
“missyspublicpassiveaggressivejunk.”
Of course, every blog I write is passive aggressive. Sheesh.

For instance, I write a blog about having been falsely accused of something I didn’t do. Do I say JimBob accused me of telling his wife Bertha that he’s cheating on her? Of course not. You people don’t know JimBob and Bertha. You can’t relate with specifics, but you can relate with a generality. JimBob never accused you of telling Bertha anything, so what do you care? But I’ll bet money on the fact that you’ve probably been accused of something unfairly, am I correct? You can relate to what I’m saying because you can substitute your situation with mine when I write in generalities.

Or, I may write about a problem that Richard and I are having and the events that took place surrounding the argument. Do I tell you what the problem is? Of course not. That’s personal. And besides, our problem was probably pretty specific and you most likely couldn’t relate with it. But have you had a problem with your significant other? Sure you have! If I write non-specifically, you can relate with what I’m saying.

I could keep listing examples of blogs from the past, but there’s no point. They are ALL the same. I don’t come right out and use specific situations and specific names because that would defeat my purpose.

I have a confession to make. Recently, I’ve been a little disappointed with my blog’s views. They have gone down quite a bit lately. When I expressed my hesitation in continuing the blog, someone asked me this question.

“Well, who are you writing it for? You or them?”

And you know what my answer is to that question?

THEM.

If I were writing this for myself, I’d write a journal or a diary. I’d use specific names like nobody’s business. And I probably wouldn’t be nearly as nice about it, I can guarantee you that. But I’m not writing for me. I’m writing in the hopes that someone somewhere can see themselves in my situations. They can take my life experiences, replace their own in the story, and come away with two things. One, the knowledge that they are not alone (we never are); and two, a slightly different perspective on what might be a negative situation.

I recently wrote a blog about a visit to the nursing home to see my Alzheimer’s-ridden grandmother. Someone that I don’t know from Adam sent me a message telling me how much that blog meant to them. It gave them a new perspective on their own parent who has Alzheimer’s. It made them see her in a different way. She said that she would remember what I said for a very long time and that it made her understand her parent like she hadn’t up until the point she read my words.

Why do I write? That is why.

If you see yourself in my writing, there’s probably a reason. If it helps, I’m thrilled. If it steps on your toes, well. Frankly, forgive me for being blunt, but I’m not a bit sorry. I didn’t mention your name – if you put yourself in it, that’s you that did that. Not me. And you might want to ask yourself why that is.

I am a very public person. That’s just the way it is. It’s the way I was made, and there’s nothing I can do about it. The stories that I have to tell are going to be told. I’m not going to use specifics in most cases unless I’m given permission. My stories are mine, and I am going to keep telling them.

Yes, I get frustrated sometimes when they don’t seem to be read as much as usual (as I mentioned above). But like my daughter said in a recent conversation:

Me: My blog views are dropping drastically.
Her: How do you know?
Me: Well, I can look at the stats. A story that may have gotten 100 views before is now only getting 25. I think maybe I should quit.
Her: Then you’re going to have 25 disappointed people.

Ah, the wisdom of youth.

So, yes, I’m going to continue writing. And yes, I fully admit that most everything I write from here on out will be passive aggressive. It’s what I do. If I write something that you feel is about you or directed at you, please – see me about it. I can assure you that the passive aggressiveness is only found in this blog, not in real life. I promise you I’ll let you know exactly what you want to know.

Pretending (unless I’m on a stage) is just not my thing.

And that’s all I have to say about that.

***

Posted by Melissa Edmondson. Categories: Freestyle Writings/Musings. Tags: blog, blogger, change, friendship, motivation, passion, passive aggressive, problems, Quotes, relate, relationships, sharing, stories, views, writer, writing. 2 Comments

Apr. ’14

I’m Sorry (Well, sort of.) (Ok, not really.)

“I can’t tell you the key to success; but the key to failure is to try to please everyone.”
– Ed Sheeran

Let me tell you about the kind of person I used to be…

Oh, wait. Never mind! I found an old picture of myself. Maybe that will be enough of an explanation.

I’m serious, people, I was the biggest doormat you’d ever meet in your life. I would bend and bend and bend until I felt broken. The word “no” was not in my vocabulary. If someone wanted/needed something, I was there (regardless of whatever personal sacrifice had to be made in order to do so). If plans were made and I wasn’t involved in the planning or it wasn’t convenient to participate, you’d still see me trotting along with everyone else anyway. Going with the flow – making sure no toes were stepped on. (Except my own, of course.)

Well, to be perfectly honest, not a whole lot has changed. But as I get older, there does seem to be a slight shift. Now, here’s how it generally plays out.

Someone asks if I’ll do something (or in some cases informs me that I’m already signed up to do it without my knowledge), and what do I do? I throw a hissy fit. Oh yeah, gone are the “oh sure, no problem” days of my past. I gripe, I complain, I shout all the reasons why I’m certainly not going to do it and stand my ground. And then what happens after that?

*Sigh.*

I do it.

And what happens after that? I apologize for the way I acted when I said I wasn’t going to do it because I’m so afraid that I may have hurt someone’s feelings or made them uncomfortable.

But you know what? I’m not really sorry. Rather than just trusting my instinct – trusting my gut -I fall back into my old ways and just do what is expected of me to try to not rock the boat. The only difference is that I’m a little more verbal than I used to be about why I don’t really want to be doing it. In other words, I’m still a doormat, I’m just a bitchy doormat now.

And that’s not cool.

Riding the fence like this is not going to get me anywhere. Nobody likes a bitchy doormat.

So, here’s what needs to happen. I have two choices. I need to:

A) Go back to the way I was. Be the girl who keeps her mouth shut, goes with the flow and does what is expected of her regardless of personal sacrifice or gut instinct, and yet have bunches and bunches of “friends” because of it.

-Or-

B) Cut the balancing act and just slip full force into sticking to my guns. Sure, I may lose friends (which I think I probably already have by being in bitchy doormat mode, so that’s nothing entirely new), but I will stop sacrificing the friendship that actually matters – the friendship with myself.

Well, guess what? I think I may be just a little too far over the edge of the fence to be able to turn around and go back at this point. I’m thinking it’s going to be choice “B” for me for now on. (And you can let that capital “B” stand for whatever you’d like…)

Let me go ahead and issue my public service announcement:

I have a feeling that disclaimer is necessary. But while others are reading that disclaimer, let me just go ahead and give myself a little reminder as well:

I’m tired of saying no to myself in order to say yes to everyone else. I deserve the same respect that I have been giving to others, don’t I?

Don’t you?

Just a thought.

***

“No more bitchy doormat-ism.”
– Melissa Edmondson

Posted by Melissa Edmondson. Categories: Freestyle Writings/Musings. Tags: blog, change, changed, doormat, health, individuality, motivation, passion, people-pleasing, problems, Quotes, relationships, saying no, writer, writing. 3 Comments

Apr. ’14

Weed ‘Em and Reap

“Don’t water your weeds.”
– Proverb

Now, let me just start this blog out by letting you know that I know nothing – and I mean NOTHING – about gardening. Or even about keeping a plant alive. Case in point, the poor little plant you see here to the right.

*sigh*

This picture is the reason I’ve never had plants. THIS is what happens to them.

Now, in my defense, this poor little fella got left behind in a major move. My boyfriend Richard’s family did a little house swapping and then I followed close behind by moving into the home with Richard. In the midst of all the moves, this plant was left sitting on a shelf by a window. Neglected. Once we got moved in and settled, I finally noticed the poor little fella and went to work on trying to save it. I diligently remembered to keep it watered and turn it towards the sunlight, etc. etc. And what happened?

Um, well, nothing.

The plant looked exactly the way it looks in the picture for months. And yet – somehow the parts that were alive (or at least I assume they were – they were still green), just kept going amidst all the dead stuff. So, finally, it dawned on me that maybe I should treat the plant like you do gardens. Get rid of the weeds to make room for the stuff that is still alive to be able to grow.

Hmmmm.

Eh, I didn’t know if it would work, but I figured it would at least make things look a little better, right? So, I went to work. After a full morning of picking and prodding and trying my best to efficiently differentiate between green and brown, I was left with…well…a much smaller plant.

Bless its heart.

(And hey, I didn’t even though that little fern-looking thingy was even in there! How about that!?)

So, yeah, the little fella was looking a little pruned, so to speak, but I still had to admit he looked a heck of a lot better. Right?

And that’s when that writer’s brain of mine kicked in. Suddenly, all of those “weeding” quotes I’ve always heard began to make sense to me. Looking at this little plant in front of me made me realize something important.

This is what it takes to change your life.

If you’re like me, you’ve probably faced some moments in your life when you realized that something just wasn’t ‘right.’ You know what I mean? No matter how much you tried – no matter how many things you crammed into your life to try to fulfill some void that you were certain would top off that internal happiness meter – nothing seemed to work. You tried this, you tried that, you packed your life with so many places and people and things just trying and trying to find that “thing” that would make your life perfect…and still. Nothing.

And then, suddenly, when you realize that you can’t fit a single thing else in your life, it dawns on you. There’s just no more room. None. You’re spreading yourself thin by trying to take care of all the things on your plate (or “in your pot” so to speak) that there’s just no more energy (or “water”) left. And then, when you look even closer, you start to realize how useless some of these things are to begin with. You’re putting precious energy into things that aren’t even serving you anymore, and maybe never even were to begin with. And sometimes those ‘things’ are actually ‘people.’

In other words, you’ve been watering the weeds.

Kinda stupid, huh? Sound familiar? No? Hmmm.

Think maybe it needs to?

I don’t know – maybe the way I am is unique. Maybe I’m the only one who has crammed their life full of crap to no avail. But if the responses I’ve gotten from many of my blogs in the past tell me anything, I’m thinking I’m probably not unique at all. I think we are a whole lot more alike than we may realize. All of us. And I’m betting someone out there probably needed to hear this today. Was it you?

Get rid of the weeds, people. You might feel a little empty to start with. A little bare, maybe. But what’s left will be worth taking care of. And you’ll actually have the energy (“water”) to do it. And before you know it, you’re going to have nothing but a pot full of life.

Doesn’t that sound kinda awesome?

***

“We’re like a gardener with a hose and our attention is water – we can water flowers or we can water weeds.”
– Josh Radnor

Posted by Melissa Edmondson. Categories: Freestyle Writings/Musings. Tags: blogging, change, changed, death, family, friendship, gardening, inspiration, inspirational, love, motivation, motivational, problems, Quotes, weeds, writer, writing. 1 Comment

Apr. ’14

Purpose

“The important thing is that men should have a purpose in life. It should be something useful, something good.”
– Dalai Lama

I visited my grandmother in the nursing home over the weekend. She has Alzheimer’s Disease and is, unfortunately, in the later stages. Meaning, she has no idea who any of us are. And while this is still heartbreaking, most of us in the family have gotten used to it. We know what’s coming when we visit her. We’re ready for it, and we expect it. We’ve learned to live with it.

Unfortunately, however, she hasn’t.

One thing she kept repeating over and over again during our visit was this one same question, “What am I supposed to be doing?”

Each time she asked the question (not remembering she had just asked it seconds earlier), I would respond the same way, “You’re not supposed to be doing anything, MawMaw. Nothing at all.” And each time, she’d say, “I’m supposed to just sit here?” I’d tell her yes, and then the cycle would repeat itself.

And then, in addition to her question, I started noticing other things around the room that seemed connected to what she was getting at.

Now, we weren’t visiting in my MawMaw’s private room. When we arrived at the nursing home, she had been moved to the ‘day room’ for activities with the other residents (which she didn’t seem to want to participate in). So, while visiting her, we also saw a lot of the other patients. And while there were a variety of levels of illness (as well as a wide variety of personalities), one common theme seemed to stand out at me. The theme that my sweet grandmother was trying to convey with that one question she kept asking me.

The search for purpose.

Take one lady for instance. She kept pushing her little wheelchair around firmly explaining to people that they were not allowed to go certain places. In fact, she’d block their path if they tried. (Which in one case resulted in a kick to the leg of the other person in his wheelchair as he was simply trying to go through the doorway. Yikes!) While little Miss Bossy Pants was an annoyance to all concerned, I started to realize that she was just appointing herself with a purpose. A misconstrued purpose, maybe, but a purpose nonetheless. Her job was to tell people where to go and not to go.

And this same lady at one point (when everyone was apparently in their appointed places and she had allowed herself a break from guard duty), rolled herself over to a hamper near the door and, with curiosity, opened the lid and peered in. What she saw was a mound of dirty, used towels. So, what does she do? One by one (until the nurse caught and stopped her), she pulled them out, placed them neatly into her lap, and started folding them and putting them back into the hamper.

She had found a purpose. Folding laundry.

Another woman sat at her table and made bread. No, she didn’t have any flour or shortening or bowls or an oven or any of that. Not that you or I could see, anyway. But nevertheless, she sat at her table and mixed and kneaded the dough, placed it on the table, patted it out, etc. It took me a while to figure out what she was doing, but once I did, that same thing hit me again. She had found her purpose. She had to bake biscuits. And she was content in doing so.

In every person lay the same idea. One woman chose to sing, another chose to yell at her kids (who weren’t there)…the list goes on and on. What looks to those of us in our “right” minds as unnecessary chatter and activities, to them are anything but unnecessary. They are, in fact, very necessary. To their livelihood. To their well-being.

To their sense of purpose.

Which brings me back to my MawMaw. While sitting there, I was reminded of a quote I once heard. I couldn’t remember it exactly, but when I got home, I looked it up.

“I am here for a purpose and that purpose is to grow into a mountain, not to shrink to a grain of sand. Henceforth will I apply ALL my efforts to become the highest mountain of all and I will strain my potential until it cries for mercy.”
– Og Mandino

Those are some powerful words there. How much do we take our purpose for granted? How much do we complain when we have to go to work, or when we have to drive kids here and there, or when we have yet another activity to have to show up at or to have to devote time to? Do we ever just stop to bask in the beautiful, yet forgotten, meaning of it all?

We have a purpose.

I turned to my sweet grandmother, with all of this on my mind, and I finally had an answer for her. The next time she asked me, “What am I supposed to be doing?,” I had her answer.

“MawMaw. All you have to do is just let us love you.”

It’s time to rest.

I know that wasn’t enough for her. And I know she won’t remember my answer for any length of time. But regardless of whether it seeps into her aging mind on some level, it still remains true. No, there are no more children to take care of. No more laundry to fold. No more dinners to cook or beds to make or groceries to be shopped for. My MawMaw is right – there is nothing left that she is supposed to ‘do.’ It is time for her, whether she wants to or not, to simply rest. That’s all. Just rest. And to a woman who spent her life as a wife, mother of nine, step-mother to many others, and grandmother and great-grandmother to too many to count, I’m sure that’s a tough blow to take. But whether she realizes it or not, although there are no physical activities left for her to take care of, her purpose still remains strong and true.

She’s still here because she still has a lesson to teach us.

She may not realize that, but I do.

Thank you, MawMaw. Because you are serving your purpose, I’ll now go on to serve mine.

(And I’ll try to remember to appreciate every moment of it….)

***

“As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.”
– Carl Jung

Posted by Melissa Edmondson. Categories: Freestyle Writings/Musings. Tags: Alzheimer's, blog, blogging, change, children, family, grandchildren, grandmother, grandparents, inspiration, inspirational, life lessons, loss, love, motivation, motivational, photos, purpose, Quotes, writer, writing. 4 Comments

Mar. ’14

Ripples

“When you drop a pebble into a pond, ripples spread out, changing all the water in the pool. The ripples hit the shore and rebound, bumping into one another, breaking each other apart. In some small way, the pond is never the same again.”
― Neal Shusterman

Ripples in the Pond

So, I’ve been told that I have a wide reach with this blog. More than once, I’ve had a person mention something to me about how a particular entry really affected them – and I was shocked because I didn’t even know the person was a reader at all. It makes me proud when that kind of thing happens. It’s like the quote I posted above, you know? No matter how small you think your little pebble is, the ripples will spread out in a way you may have never even imagined. How cool is that?

Well, guess what? Now, it’s your turn to drop your pebble.

I’ve decided that I’m going to bank on that ‘wide reach’ thing being true, and use my blog for something that I think is extremely important.

Photo courtesy of Jay’s Facebook page

I want to tell you about my friend Jay Erwin. Up until August of 2013, Jay was a runner. And an awesome runner at that. In fact, he was a co-founder of the Boone Running Club – a club whose Facebook group has provided invaluable information and race info to me ever since I became a runner. In fact, it was the basis for the Ashe Running Club page that I and a friend recently started for our area as well. (Talk about your ripples, right?) Jay reached out to me many times on Facebook to encourage me as a beginner runner and was very instrumental in working with me to continue moving forward to reach my running goals. And I am just one voice in the pond, so to speak. I know there are many, many others who would tell you the same thing.

Well, now, it’s time to repay Jay.

In August of 2013, Jay was involved in an accident. Here’s a portion of the story in Jay’s words:

” I had an accident on 8/24/13….I was cutting a tree down and it fell on me. My son who never had CPR training saw that I had no pulse or heartbeat and he gave me CPR. I believe the hand of God helped him. I was revived by my son and soon after that I was flown by helicopter to a Trauma unit in Johnson City, TN. I died two additional times on the helicopter, but came back. Surgery was administered to my spine and left shoulder. My left shoulder was completely smashed, but corrected and I had two rods inserted to stabilize my spine. I started coming around after 16 days. I was in Johnson City for 18 days and then I was transferred to the Shepherd Center in Atlanta, GA. At the Shepherd Center I rehabbed and learned how to live again….I was at Shepherd for about 100 days and I got to come home just before Christmas…”

Wow. Once a runner, and now Jay will never even walk again. Can you imagine? I mean, really. Can you?

I’m guessing probably not. But you know what you can do? What we can all do?

Help.

Jay and his lovely wife, Lisa

Now, obviously, none of us can turn back time. We can’t go back and take away this accident. We can’t give Jay his running legs back. But what we can do is reach out to help him in this time of need. How can we do that?

A company called Mobility Solutions is sponsoring a contest. Three lucky winners will be chosen to receive a wheelchair-accessible van that will aid Jay and his family tremendously. As you can imagine, their whole world has changed drastically. Getting Jay from point A to point B requires great effort. This van would change his life in ways that those of us who just hop in our cars to go from here to there could never even begin to imagine. And how does he win it? Simple.

He just needs votes.

All you do is click on this link. Register (you can register with your Facebook account if you’d like) and vote. Vote, vote, vote. Vote every day. That’s all it takes!

Simple, huh?

And if you want to help even further, join Jay’s Facebook group and get tips on answering the daily “extra vote” question to gain not one, but TWO votes per day. Jay is not in the lead, but I think that with our help, he can be. Surely taking a few seconds out of each day to vote for this well-deserving man is something that you can do, right?

Time to toss your pebbles. These ripples are going to mean more than you can even imagine. In fact, let’s start a wave, people. Shall we?

Please, please vote. Our friend needs our help.

***
“It is one of the beautiful compensations in this life that no one can sincerely try to help another without helping himself.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

Posted by Melissa Edmondson. Categories: Freestyle Writings/Musings, Running. Tags: blog, change, changed, disability, friendship, health, help, humanity, inspiration, inspirational, Jay Erwin, Mobility Solutions, motivation, motivational, Quotes, runner, running, van, vote, wheelchair, win, writing. Leave a comment

Mar. ’14

Positive Thinker?

“If you’re not making mistakes, then you’re not doing anything. I’m positive that a doer makes mistakes.”
– John Wooden

Ok, I feel kind of bad.

I was just speaking to someone over the weekend who had never read my blog. I was explaining the types of writings I do – uplifting blogs about everyday events that have hidden lessons in them. (I thought that was a good way to describe it – there’s definitely not a particular theme to this thing, that’s for sure…) So, they said they’d love to check it out and would do so as soon as they got a chance.

Then, I got home and clicked on the link to my blog, and realized what the first thing would be that this person would see. A blog called “WTF.”

Heh. Oops.

And then, I check the mail. What do I find? The April edition of Guideposts magazine. Now, I’m not necessarily a subscriber to Guideposts, although I have been mysteriously receiving issues starting a few months ago (Grandma, was that you?), but I was expecting a stack of the April editions to arrive.

Why is that?

I was notified a while back that a quote from one of my stories (Scars) was chosen to appear in a section of the April edition of Guideposts entitled “The Up Side.” This is a section that contains uplifting quotes by sometimes famous, sometimes not famous (obviously), people who are “positive thinkers.” I knew the magazine was coming, but the thrill of opening it up and rushing to page 15 to check out the Up Side section was pretty cool. I opened it up to page 15, and the first thing I see is Sandra Bullock. Woohoo! I’m listed in the same section as Sandra Bullock?

How do ya like them apples??

And then I flipped the page to the second page of quotes. Page 16. And there I was. Seeing my words – my quote! – in black and white was pretty awesome, to say the least.

How cool is that!?

And then, I flipped back to page 15 and read that subtitle again. “Quotes from Today’s Positive Thinkers.” Awesome.

Oh…

Wait a minute.

“Positive thinker?” Ummmmm, yeah. This positive thinker is the one who just wrote a blog called “WTF” and ended it with “Sometimes people truly suck.”

*embarrassing laugh*

Heh. Oops.

So, let me just explain a little. Last week sucked. It just did. Even “positive thinkers” are apparently human. That last blog is not really who I am. I was hurt and I lashed out. It happens. People don’t suck. That was a harsh statement. People are who they are, and it’s up to me whether or not to let their actions affect me. And, most importantly, it’s up to me whether to allow them to remain in my life or not. In this case, I chose the latter. (And I feel great about that. Really. You should try it sometime – it’s very freeing.)

So, yeah. I just had what I like to think of as a little “hiccup.”

But see this quote? I came across this a few days ago, and it made me feel so much better about my situation. I love the part that says not to “unpack and live there.” That’s great advice. I had my little fit, and now I’ve moved on. Time to regain my Guideposts title of ‘positive thinker’ and keep moving forward.

So, to my regular blog readers, let me thank you for allowing me my little setback. I appreciate you sticking around.

And to you, new blog reader from the weekend, I hope you’ll stick around and get to know the real me. The me that does not let outside forces break my spirit. Temporarily? Maybe. But forever? Ha. Not a chance.

There’s too much good in this world to let the occasional Negative Nancy spoil it.

***
“If you have a positive attitude and constantly strive to give your best effort, eventually you will overcome your immediate problems and find you are ready for greater challenges.”
– Pat Riley

Posted by Melissa Edmondson. Categories: Freestyle Writings/Musings. Tags: blog, Guideposts, inspiration, inspirational, love, motivation, motivational, optimist, photos, positive, problems, Quotes, relationships, scars, Up Side, upbeat, writer, writing. Leave a comment

Mar. ’14

#tbt Poetry – Aspiration

For all two of you who are reading these throwback Thursday poems, here’s the one for this week. Circa 2002 or so.

***

Aspiration

You keep me going.
You make sure I take just one more step
Go that one extra mile
Take that final leap.
(You are responsible for all that!)
You fill my heart with music –
My mind with phrases –
My pen with energy.
What would I be without you?
Who would I be without you?

Ode to the dreams that have not yet faded…

***

Posted by Melissa Edmondson. Categories: Poetic Musings. Tags: #tbt, aspiration, blog, blogging, dreams, heart, inspiration, inspirational, love, motivation, motivational, passion, poem, poet, poetry, writer, writing. Leave a comment

Mar. ’14

I Need A Muffin

“When we get too caught up in the busyness of the world, we lose connection with one another – and ourselves.”
– Jack Kornfield

Well, if you’ve noticed, I haven’t been posting on here as much as I used to. Things have been a bit busy.

As most of you know from previous posts, in addition to being a writer, I am also an actor with community theatre. For the past month, I’ve actually been working on two shows at the same time. One just wrapped up last week, and I’m currently in the last weeks of rehearsal for the next one. In other words, it’s crunch time.

Again.

I seem to live my life in this way, I’ve noticed. It always seems like I’m on the go. Training for a race, rehearsing for a show, writing a novel (that’s the new one on the list). Always busy. Always working my butt off while inching towards something. Never seeming to slow down.

Now, I’m not saying this is a bad thing. As Maya Angelou is quoted as saying:

“It has been said that we need just three things in life: Something to do, Something to look forward to, and Someone to love.”

I’m so blessed to have every single one of those things at any given moment. Honestly, I’m just an overall happy person, with very few problems. I forget that fact from time to time, of course (like I think we all are guilty of), but it’s always true.

However, the other day, something humorous – and important – caught my attention. I’ve been giving it a lot of thought, so I thought I’d share it here with you. Maybe it might mean something to you, too. You never know.

My boyfriend Richard and our kids go to church on Sundays as often as we can. And since the kids adore the Sunday school portion of church, Richard and I have found our way to an adult class that we have come to love as much as they do. Our wonderful instructor, Teresa, does a sweet thing each and every Sunday morning – she bakes muffins and brings them in to share with us. Well, word has gotten around (or maybe that wonderful smell has gotten around!) that there are muffins on the premises, and some of the kids have started wandering into our class to get themselves one or two. And this past Sunday, one of these kids who was doing just that very thing, made quite an impression on me.

There we sat in class, engrossed in the powerful words that Teresa always has to share with us, when we heard the church bells ring signaling the end of class. Since we weren’t quite done with our discussion, we sat for a few extra minutes sharing some final words before packing up to head out. Once the discussion was complete, we all started fumbling for our things as Teresa walked over to open the classroom door. She opened the door, and there stood the cutest little girl you’ve ever seen. She just stood there, waiting quietly and patiently for the door to be open, and once it was, she made her presence known with this statement:

“I need a muffin.”

That’s all she said. Just four little words to state her purpose. And in she walked, got her muffin, and went about her business.

Well, of course, we all laughed and laughed over that. The hilarity behind this little girl just standing there waiting patiently for the door to open so she could state her purpose and get what she needed led to some serious giggles from the adults. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that there is actually a lot I could learn from that little girl.

1. Don’t be in a hurry. She knew the muffin would be there when the door was open, so she was patient. She didn’t bust in the room and interrupt class, no matter how much that little tummy was growling. She just waited her turn. She knew when muffin time would be and didn’t try to make it happen a second sooner.

2. Decide what you need, and go get it. There was no question what Little Miss wanted. A muffin. And she didn’t just want it. She needed it. So, by gosh, she made it happen.

3. Indulge every now and then. Ok, so muffins aren’t the healthiest things in the world? So what! When you need a muffin, you need a muffin. That’s just all there is to it. There is a time for meat and potatoes; there is a time for fruit and vegetables; and then….then there is a time for muffins. Recognize that time and savor it. Everything doesn’t have to be done ‘right’ all the time. Sometimes, it’s ok to take a muffin break. It just is.

So, there ya have it. Some “food for thought” for us all from a little girl who needed a muffin.

*giggle*

Maybe I’m seeing too much in this? I don’t know. Maybe. It wouldn’t be the first time that’s ever happened.

But then again – maybe that little girl just taught us all a few lessons that we needed to hear. Maybe sometimes I need to sit back and take a quick break before proceeding on with the pursuit of all these goals. Maybe sometimes I need to stop working on my novel, and throw in a short blog again now and then. Maybe sometimes I need to stop studying my lines, and watch a TV show with my kids. Maybe sometimes I need to stop training for a race, and just leave my GPS tracking device at home and run a few miles for fun.

You see where I’m going with that? Eh, I don’t know. Are you with me? Could you use a muffin break yourself?

With that said, please excuse me. I better wrap this blog up for the moment. There’s something very important and yummy calling my name….

***

“The really idle man gets nowhere. The perpetually busy man does not get much further.”
– Sir Heneage Ogilvie

Posted by Melissa Edmondson. Categories: Freestyle Writings/Musings. Tags: blog, break, change, food for thought, health, inspiration, inspirational, motivation, motivational, muffins, Quotes, relax, slow down, take a break, take it easy, writer, writing. 1 Comment

Feb. ’14

What A Novel Idea

“I like the challenge of trying different things and wondering whether it’s going to work or whether I’m going to fall flat on my face.”
– Johnny Depp

So, have I mentioned that I’m writing a novel?

Finally. After all of these years of writing poetry and essays, I finally decided to bite the bullet and give a novel a try. I never thought I could do this. First of all, I have never been the greatest at that whole “follow through” thing. Oh you know how it is – you get these great big grandiose ideas in your mind, and maybe you even actually start on them, but to follow through? Ok, I’m out. That follow through thing takes too much work. On to the next great idea…

You feel me? Been there yourself? Oh yeah – when it comes to follow through, jumping ship has always been my superpower.

And another reason I’ve been hesitant to write a novel? Well, I’m not exactly a ‘fiction’ writer. Most everything I’ve written over the years has just been observations of the world around me, not something that I made up in my mind. Yes, yes, I know all books don’t have to be fiction. There are plenty of great non-fiction books out there in the world. But something I came across once in some “how to be a writer” article or another was this piece of advice that I’ve never forgotten. It said that there is something important that you need to remember when you are ready to take on the challenge of writing a novel.

“Write something that you would like to read.”

Although at first glance that seems pretty obvious, there’s actually much more wisdom to that than you might think. While I have always written poetry and essays, when I go to a bookstore, are the poetry and essay books the first ones I head to? Nope. I like novels. Fiction. I love them. I eat them up. I love the ones about family connections, the ones about mysteries, the ones with a strong, likeable heroine as the main character….all that stuff.

So, why am I not writing that?

Well, other than the reasons I’ve mentioned before, there’s also the big reason. The reason that we all have whenever we’re afraid to rise to any challenge in our lives. What’s that reason, you ask? Well, I think you know.

I’m afraid I’ll fail.

What if I spend all this time writing a fiction novel…and it blows? You know? I mean, it’s highly likely for that to be the case. I’m not a novelist. I’m a beginner. It may never get read by anyone except my boyfriend Richard. (You know he’ll be forced to read it. I’m sure he already thinks I’m a little crazy for talking about these characters as if they were real people as it is…) It may never get published and may just remain a pile of words sitting on a computer hard drive somewhere for the rest of my life.

Or.

Or…maybe someone will like it. Maybe it will get published. And read. And (as is the most important thing to me…), identified with. Wouldn’t that be awesome?

Eh. Either way. It’s time to try, right?

I compare it to when I first started running. I remember the absolute glee I felt the first time I ran one mile without stopping. (Quotes?) And then the first time I ran an actual 5K. (Poetry?) And then the pride and accomplishment I felt when I ran my first half marathon. (Essays?). Well, now it’s time to rise to the challenge and take it a step further. Just as I never thought I’d be able to get this far with my running, I also thought I’d never get this far with my writing. I have an essay published in Chicken Soup for the Soul, for Heaven’s sakes! That’s a big deal. And I’ve ran not one, but two half marathons. The lesson to be learned is that I can do things that I never thought possible.

Maybe it’s time to step up my game?

So here’s to the future. Here’s to a finished novel (good or bad) and to a full marathon one of these days. It doesn’t have to be the best – it just has to get done. It just has to.

Bucket list, make room. A few more things are about to join the ranks…

***

“I want to challenge you today to get out of your comfort zone. You have so much incredible potential on the inside. God has put gifts and talents in you that you probably don’t know anything about.”
– Joel Osteen

Posted by Melissa Edmondson. Categories: Freestyle Writings/Musings. Tags: author, blog, blogging, book, change, chicken soup for the soul, essays, family, fiction, heart, inspiration, inspirational, love, motivation, motivational, non-fiction, novel, novelist, passion, poetry, Quotes, writer, writing. 5 Comments

Feb. ’14

Story about a Dog

“We fear things in proportion to our ignorance of them.”
– Christian Nestell Bovee

I want to tell you a story about a dog.

And it’s not just any dog, mind you. I’d like you to meet my boyfriend Richard’s sweet little german shepherd, Lucy. Isn’t she the cutest little booger? So incredibly sweet. So lovable. So happy. And so…*ahhem*…um, how shall I say this?…unintelligent? Heh. Bless her sweet little heart, she’s not exactly the brightest bulb in the box. But she sure makes up for it in sweetness though, that’s for sure. Well, I have a story about one of Lucy’s recent…let’s just say mental lapses…that I thought was pretty interesting.

Now Lucy is a little over a year old and, all her life, has been taught that she is NOT to come in the house. She’s an outside dog, and that’s always been perfectly fine with her. Well….now here we are faced with this awful winter we’ve been having, so we decided to try to bend the rules a little. With sub-zero temps and wind chills to boot, it was time to let Lucy in the house.

Heh. WRONG.

Lucy was having NONE of that. You don’t teach a dog not to come in the house and then invite them in. No way, not Miss Lucy. Her daddy said a long time ago that she wasn’t supposed to be in the house and that was that, by gosh. We cajoled, we pushed, we pulled, we begged…but she wasn’t budging.

So, on to Plan B.

Richard, being the sweetheart that he is, decided that he couldn’t bear knowing that all she was going to have as shelter would be a drafty garage. Yes, it would block the worst of the wind, but it still wasn’t all that toasty in there. So, he rigged up a little space heater for her right next to her dog bed. That way, she would at least feel the heat from it as long as she stayed in her bed for the night. Problem solved. We’re going on a few months of this space heater warmth for Lucy on these cold winter nights and all has been working just fine, thank you.

Until yesterday, that is.

*sigh*

Now, I mentioned that Lucy is a sweet little thing right? Sooooo sweet. Smart? Eh. Notsomuch.

I left early in the morning for work and Richard was close behind. We both had very long days yesterday, consisting of real estate work here and there and followed up by rehearsal (for me) and sound work (for him) at the theatre until late in the evening. And then, after topping the night off with a quick bite to eat and a glass of wine or two at our favorite restaurant, we finally made our way back home. And what did we find when we got there?

Lucy. In the garage.

Stuck.

And by “stuck,” let me explain. This space heater that I described to you is a long, low-to-the-ground type. It resembles a baseboard heater somewhat. Before Richard had left for the day, he went into the garage through the open door (on the opposite side of the heater) and Lucy had followed him in. As he was leaving, he shut the garage door behind him with Lucy still inside, knowing that it was ok to do so since Lucy could easily go out the side door that we always keep open for her. Well, what he didn’t realize, was that the heater (which was not on, by the way) had been pushed to the side just slightly and was now…um…”blocking” Lucy’s path to the side door.

Now, I mentioned this heater is low to the ground, right? And by low to the ground, I mean probably 6 inches. Tops. So this 6-inch tall non-functioning space heater stood between Lucy and the side door of freedom.

It took us a minute to realize what the problem was once we got home. I was the first to arrive and was shocked that Lucy didn’t come flying to me with her tail flapping as she always does. I heard her whining in the garage, but she wouldn’t come to me. I walked a little further in and saw that she was just standing there. That’s it. Just standing there looking at me. (And crying, the poor little thing.)

So, I called to her. “Come here, Lucy. Come here, girl.”

Still. Nothing.

That’s when I realized that she was refusing to step across the little heater. I walked over and simply pushed the heater a few inches to the side, and let me tell you – you would not believe the happiness that burst forth from that sweet little dog. She bolted out of that garage, went straight to the yard to ‘take care of some overdue business,’ and then came bounding back to me for her “Hello, I’m glad you’re home, I love you, I love you, I love you” kisses.

When Richard got home, we laughed about that silly dog being “stuck” in the garage, all because she refused to step across the heater. But then the more we talked about it, the more we realized that, although the heater wasn’t hot at the moment, Lucy must have learned (the hard way, I’m guessing) that that heater could be hot. So, she figured it was best to play it safe. Even if it meant imprisonment.

Now, you guys realize I’m a writer right? And one thing I’ve noticed about we writers…we simply cannot see a situation in only a literal sense. Oh no – there is always a deeper meaning to just about everything. This time was no exception.

I thought about poor sweet Lucy and wondered how many times I’ve done that myself. How many times have I chosen imprisonment and sacrificed my freedom, simply because I was afraid to attempt something that may have hurt me in the past? And how many times was that thing that I thought was going to hurt me, simply just there for my benefit and not going to hurt me at all? And how many times have I, due to being ignorant to the harmlessness of the obstacle (simply because I was not willing to test it out), therefore remained in the tiny, lonely, confined space of my own making?

And while we’re on the subject – how many times have you done that?

Pretty dumb, isn’t it?

So, yes, maybe this was just one instance of a not-so-smart doggy getting stuck in a garage behind a heater. Or…

Or.

Maybe this was one of those lessons that life puts in front of you all of the time…if you’ll just take a moment to stop and notice it.

I don’t know about you, but I sure do know that Lucy was pretty darn happy to be free. Maybe you should give freedom a try yourself.