Tag Archives: help


“When you drop a pebble into a pond, ripples spread out, changing all the water in the pool. The ripples hit the shore and rebound, bumping into one another, breaking each other apart. In some small way, the pond is never the same again.”
― Neal Shusterman


Ripples in the Pond

So, I’ve been told that I have a wide reach with this blog. More than once, I’ve had a person mention something to me about how a particular entry really affected them – and I was shocked because I didn’t even know the person was a reader at all. It makes me proud when that kind of thing happens. It’s like the quote I posted above, you know? No matter how small you think your little pebble is, the ripples will spread out in a way you may have never even imagined. How cool is that?

Well, guess what? Now, it’s your turn to drop your pebble.

I’ve decided that I’m going to bank on that ‘wide reach’ thing being true, and use my blog for something that I think is extremely important.


Photo courtesy of Jay’s Facebook page

I want to tell you about my friend Jay Erwin.  Up until August of 2013, Jay was a runner. And an awesome runner at that.  In fact, he was a co-founder of the Boone Running Club – a club whose Facebook group has provided invaluable information and race info to me ever since I became a runner.  In fact, it was the basis for the Ashe Running Club page that I and a friend recently started for our area as well.  (Talk about your ripples, right?)  Jay reached out to me many times on Facebook to encourage me as a beginner runner and was very instrumental in working with me to continue moving forward to reach my running goals. And I am just one voice in the pond, so to speak.  I know there are many, many others who would tell you the same thing.

Well, now, it’s time to repay Jay.

In August of 2013, Jay was involved in an accident.  Here’s a portion of the story in Jay’s words:

” I had an accident on 8/24/13….I was cutting a tree down and it fell on me. My son who never had CPR training saw that I had no pulse or heartbeat and he gave me CPR. I believe the hand of God helped him. I was revived by my son and soon after that I was flown by helicopter to a Trauma unit in Johnson City, TN. I died two additional times on the helicopter, but came back. Surgery was administered to my spine and left shoulder. My left shoulder was completely smashed, but corrected and I had two rods inserted to stabilize my spine. I started coming around after 16 days.  I was in Johnson City for 18 days and then I was transferred to the Shepherd Center in Atlanta, GA. At the Shepherd Center I rehabbed and learned how to live again….I was at Shepherd for about 100 days and I got to come home just before Christmas…”

Wow.  Once a runner, and now Jay will never even walk again. Can you imagine?  I mean, really.  Can you?

I’m guessing probably not.  But you know what you can do?  What we can all do?



Jay and his lovely wife, Lisa

Now, obviously, none of us can turn back time.  We can’t go back and take away this accident.  We can’t give Jay his running legs back.  But what we can do is reach out to help him in this time of need.  How can we do that?

A company called Mobility Solutions is sponsoring a contest.  Three lucky winners will be chosen to receive a wheelchair-accessible van that will aid Jay and his family tremendously.  As you can imagine, their whole world has changed drastically. Getting Jay from point A to point B requires great effort.  This van would change his life in ways that those of us who just hop in our cars to go from here to there could never even begin to imagine.  And how does he win it?  Simple.

He just needs votes.

All you do is click on this link.  Register (you can register with your Facebook account if you’d like) and vote.  Vote, vote, vote.  Vote every day.  That’s all it takes!

Simple, huh?

And if you want to help even further, join Jay’s Facebook group and get tips on answering the daily “extra vote” question to gain not one, but TWO votes per day.  Jay is not in the lead, but I think that with our help, he can be.  Surely taking a few seconds out of each day to vote for this well-deserving man is something that you can do, right?

Time to toss your pebbles.  These ripples are going to mean more than you can even imagine.  In fact, let’s start a wave, people.  Shall we?

Please, please vote.  Our friend needs our help.

“It is one of the beautiful compensations in this life that no one can sincerely try to help another without helping himself.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8


  There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens

   a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

    a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,

    a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

    a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,

    a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,

    a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

    a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.


“…Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.”
Psalm 30:5


“A healthier way of thinking and acting is to allow yourself to receive the help and love you need.  You weren’t designed to live alone.  You have limitations on your strength and abilities.”
Michael Barbarulo

As some of you know from my previous posts, I have just spent the past month or so in the moving process.  What a hassle that was (and still is).  Now, granted, I did most of it myself – the packing, the address changes, the phone/tv switches, etc. – but when it came time to actually move…well, my weak little arms can’t carry beds and bookshelves and curio cabinets and whatnot.  So, I had to do something that tends to be a little difficult for me.  I had to ask for help.  Seems simple enough, right?  People need help moving all the time.  No biggie.


Oh my lordy, does this chick hate to ask for help.

It has been that way ever since I was a little girl.  I have always been so incredibly determined to do things myself.  One of my favorite stories to hear about my childhood is the one my grandmother tells about my first big acting debut.  I was a whole three years old and was getting ready to go onstage for my one big line in the church play.  (The line that I had begged to be given, by the way. I insisted that I was big enough to have a speaking part, so they conceded and let me have my way.)  So, as part of the last-minute coaching my nervous grandmother was giving me just before the show, I was told to look to the left and Miss So-and-so (the name escapes me) would be standing in the wings to whisper my line to me if I forgot it.  My grandma says that, upon hearing this, I stood up straight in all my three-year-old glory, put my little hand on my hip, and, filled with shock that the woman would have the nerve even suggest such a thing, I calmly and proudly announced to her and all who would listen:

If I forget my line, I’ll tell myself.”

Ha!  Oh, how I love that story.  What spunk!  What confidence!

What a brat.

Well, I’m here to tell ya – not much has changed.  Not much at all.  Why I insist on being so full of myself, I’ll never know.

So, fast forward about 32 years, and here I was getting ready to move.  Again.  And as much as I’d have liked to have thrown my little hand on my hip and announced to the world that I didn’t need anyone’s help…sadly, that was not the case.  So, in come my boyfriend and dad to save the day.


Awww.  Aren’t they just too cute?

I’m beyond grateful for their help, but it really has made me wonder why I have such trouble accepting it.  Is it that I really am ‘full of myself’ like I mentioned earlier?  Do I feel like there’s no need to bring in help because, in all my big-headedness, I think no one can do it like I can?  Is it the whole “if you want the job done right, do it yourself” mentality?

I don’t know.  Maybe.

But I don’t think that’s really it.  Not at all actually.

Maybe to that little three-year-old, that’s what it was.  But to this thirty-something-year-old?  To her, it’s a little deeper than that.

It’s the fear of being a burden.

I absolutely hate to think that I’m causing someone trouble.  That I’m taking time out of their life for something when they could be using that time for more important things.  That, because of me, they were inconvenienced.  It’s hard to break that mindset.  It’s hard to not just go ahead and do things yourself rather than accepting the help that you need.  And because of this, I end up being overwhelmed at times.  I take on too many projects – too many tasks – because I won’t just ask someone to pitch in.  And that’s silly really.  And you know why that’s silly?

Here’s why.

In the midst of the move, and of this whole mindset that I had going on, I mentioned to my boyfriend Richard that I was sorry to have to ask him to help.  His response?  “Sorry?  Why are you sorry?  I want to do this.  I’m a helper.”

I’m a helper.

Hmmm. Have I ever really stopped to think about that?  Has it ever once occurred to me that people actually like helping?  That it makes them feel good?  I feel good when I’m helping someone – why should I be the one to stand in the way of allowing someone else to have that feeling?  To help someone is to show them that you care.  That you love them.

Uh oh.  I think I’m onto something here.  Because you know what that means?

To accept help is to accept love.

Well, how about that.  Maybe that’s the problem I’ve had all along?  Maybe accepting love is a little scary?  Yep.  I think that’s probably it.


Yep.  It sure is.

So, are you like me?  I’m willing to bet you are.  I think most of us are like that to an extent.  Well, you know what?  Stop it.  Be brave.  Next time someone offers to help you – let them.  Really.  Get that little hand off of that hip, and accept the gift they are wanting to give you.  You know?  Let go.  Give them the opportunity to do what they want to do for you.  Let yourself accept help.

Let yourself accept love.


“Make someone happy,
Make just one someone happy,
And you will be happy, too.”
– Jimmy Durante, “Make Someone Happy” lyrics