You know what’s really, really hard to do?
Not letting people’s opinions of you matter.
You know what’s even harder than that?
Not letting people’s opinions of your work matter. And by work, I mean my writing.
Now, granted, I don’t get paid to write. (Well, I did once, but I don’t see that becoming a regular thing.) But I honestly view writing as “work” in a way. No, I don’t get a paycheck, but I do get compensation. And that compensation lies in a feeling of accomplishment. A deep knowing that I’m doing what I’m meant to do. I don’t know if anything I have said thus far has made a difference to anyone else, but I know it has made a difference to me. I have opened up; I have taken a chance; and I have bared myself for all the world to see. Do you have any clue how hard that is to do? It does get easier as time goes by, mind you. But those early days of tossing around the idea in my mind to start a blog were so nerve-wracking. Until you’ve done it, or done something similar, you can’t understand. I remember my hands trembling each time I pressed that big blue “publish” button. Because each time I pressed it, I was saying, “Here I am. What do you think?”
Now, most people have answered that “What do you think?” question in a very positive way. Including, as I briefly mentioned before, a panel of judges in the first writing contest I had ever entered. But there has been one person who hasn’t seen it so favorably.
And isn’t it just crazy how one person’s negative voice can speak so much more loudly in your head than many others’ positive ones?
Why is that? Why do we allow that to happen?
So, honestly, there’s really no point to this blog. I’m just venting. Like she says, I’m just “throwing together a bunch of whiney crap.”
But hey, it’s my blog, and I’ll whine if I want to.
Something I have always taught my kids is this: When someone hurts you, let them serve as a lesson to you about the kind of person that you don’t want to be. I hope I have never, ever, made someone feel the way this girl has made me feel. Thank you, unkind person, for providing such a glaring example of how not to treat your fellow human beings.
I’m so glad I’m not you.
“Criticism really used to hurt me. Most of these critics are usually frustrated artists and they criticize other people’s art because they can’t do it themselves. It’s a really disgusting job. They must feel horrible inside.”
– Rosanna Arquette