Tag Archives: running

Back in the Saddle

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Today I decided not to be a wimp.

For the past five days since my accident, I’ve been moping and whining thinking that I’m not going to be able to run again anytime soon.  Now, yes, I know running should be the last thing on my mind after what I went through.  But the fact is, it’s just not.  It’s very much in the forefront of my mind.  Running has been my best friend for a while.  Call me crazy, I don’t care.  But that’s just a fact.  When everything around me was changing, running was always there to turn to.  Friends came and went, circumstances changed sometimes at the drop of a hat, family emergencies took place, etc. etc.  But still.  There was running.  My old pal, my old confidant.  It never left me.

So, to feel like it was going to be gone for a while made me pretty sad.  Almost depressed even.

Especially given that this happened right in the middle of my half marathon training.  As most of you know (since I mention it every other breath), I have my first half marathon scheduled for May 4.  That’s 25 days away.  I mean, if I were counting.  But I’m not.  Because ya know.  It’s no biggie or anything….

MY FIRST HALF MARATHON IS 25 DAYS AWAY!  AHHH!

And here I am sitting around missing valuable training days because of a dumb ol’ accident.

Well, today, I decided I’m not having that anymore.

Now, I was careful, mind you.  I’m wasn’t going to jump back out there and run 10 miles again like I ran last week.  But I did jump back out there.  And I ran 3.5 miles.  And I’m pretty darn proud of myself, even if I do say so.  Man, it felt good.  And I even did it on my lunch break from work.  Even better.

As I ran, one of my favorite “I am woman, hear me roar” running songs came on my playlist, and the lyrics stood out to me more today than ever before.  The song is Survivor by Destiny’s Child:

I’m a survivor
I’m not gonna give up
I’m not gonna stop
I’m gonna work harder
I’m a survivor
I’m gonna make it
I will survive
Keep on survivin’

You dang right.  This girl is a survivor.  Has been before, will be today, and will be tomorrow.  That’s just all there is to it.

Today will be known as my “back in the saddle” day.

May 4 half marathon, here I come.

***

“I run because it’s so symbolic of life. You have to drive yourself to overcome the obstacles. You might feel that you can’t. But then you find your inner strength, and realize you’re capable of so much more than you thought.”
– Arthur Blank

10 Miles….

“Believe that you can run farther or faster. Believe that you’re young enough, old enough, strong enough, and so on to accomplish everything you want to do. Don’t let worn-out beliefs stop you from moving beyond yourself.”
– John Bingham

Ok. Today is the day that I’m supposed to run 10 miles.

What the crap? TEN miles??

I’m not feeling extremely positive about this right at the moment. After all, I struggled with just 3 yesterday. It’s amazing how different some running days are from others. Those runs fall into that whole “momma said there’d be days like this” category, I suppose. So, after having such a crappy running day yesterday, my mind is screaming at me that I’m just not ready for this 10-miler and maybe I should skip it. Maybe I should just wait and do a few more short runs and try the longer run later. Maybe it’s not time for me to step it up just yet and I should hold back a little. Maybe this. Maybe that. Excuse. Excuse. Excuse.

But then I remember something.

I’m not a quitter.

I’m just not.  In other non-running areas of my life, I’ve always been very determined to see things through.  My mom has always told me that determination is one of my finest qualities.  (Although, I’m certain it’s also been the culprit of some of my downfalls at times…but we’re not talking about that right now…)  Point is, if I can be determined in other areas of my life, I can be determined in this one too.

I can do this.  I can do this.  I can do this.

Every increase in mileage in my training plan has caused this same fear in me.  I remember when I did 5 miles for the first time.  All I could think of was how I barely made it to 5, now how was I going to do 6?  Then I did 6 miles, and had the same thought about 7. And so on. And every time, I stepped up to the challenge. Every time. Today will be no different.

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Today, after a long, tedious workday, I am going to put my running shoes on, and I’m heading out the door.  I’m going to get my playlist ready to play the strongest, most powerful running music I can find, I’m going to bring along my nifty little water bottle that straps to my hand, I’m going to clear my mind of any of life’s annoyances that might be bothering me, and I’m going to run 10 miles.  That’s just all there is to it.

Oh, and besides, I have a fail-proof plan.  I know I can run 5 miles.  There’s no question about that.  So, I’m just going to run 5 miles away from my car.  Then I have no choice but to come 5 miles back or I can’t go home.  See?  I’m a genius.

Ok, people.  Today is the day I become a double-digit runner.  Let’s do this.

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Favorite Race (so far)

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This is a picture I took at the Shamrock 4-miler, a St. Patrick’s Day theme race my son and I ran in Abingdon, Virginia, last night, March 15, 2013.

Now, granted, after every race I do, I seem to think that it was my favorite race.  And this was no exception.  But I have a feeling that this one may remain my favorite for a while.  And I’ve decided to list the top 10 reasons why.

*** 10.  The St. Patrick’s Day theme.
This was the first race I’d ever been a part of that had a theme.  And themes are awesome.  The atmosphere was completely different…everyone was in such happy spirits and seemed to be just a tad friendlier and a little more chatty than in other races.  I’ll definitely be searching for theme races in the future.

*** 9. The cowbell.
Oh yes.  There was a cowbell.  About a half a mile in, there was a random guy standing on the side of the road with a cowbell.  And, of course, the guy who was running beside me yelled, “Hey – we’re gonna need more cowbell!” as we passed.  Teehee.  That made me laugh all the way up the hill we had to climb right after we passed the cowbell man.  I needed that.

*** 8. A pooping dog.
Yes, you read that right.  A pooping dog made the top 10 list.  And here’s why.  One of the runners decided to run in the race with her dog.  Around the 1.5 mile mark, nature called.  She was standing, embarrassed, on the side of the road letting him do his business while other runners passed.  Eventually, runners started high-fiving her as they passed.  That was pretty awesome.  Lots of laughter came from that.  And laughter during a race is always awesome.  So, thank you pooping dog for your contribution to my list.

*** 7. This guy:
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Yeah.  Meeting that guy definitely made the list.  Duh.

*** 6. Being passed (yes, passed) by a man running the race while pushing his TWO kids in a stroller.
While going up a hill.  Yes, I know.  How did that make the list of reasons why this was my favorite race?  Well, just because.  People are awesome.  That’s all.

*** 5. Remembering to thank the people at the water stations.
I always forget to do that.  Always.  This time, I remembered.  There were three separate water stations and I remembered at every single station.  I finally forgot my own misery during a race and just remembered that there are awesome volunteers sitting out there for long periods of time just making sure that we have the best race we can.  And how cool are they?  They deserve more than a simple “thank you,” but that was all I had to give at the moment.  I hope hearing me say it made them feel as good as it made me feel to remember to say it.

*** 4. My time.
My MapMyRun tracking device told me that I ran 4.08 miles in just over 40 minutes.  That’s less than a 10-minute pace.  Best I’ve ever done.  Heck yeah, baby!  For this fairly new runner, that was something to be proud of.

*** 3. My kids’ dad.
Whoa.  I know, right?  How the heck did my ex-husband make this list?  I think you’ll soon understand.  Kevin (that’s his name) has Becker muscular dystrophy.  He is lucky to still be walking because the prognosis long ago was that he would have been in a wheelchair before he was 30.  (He’s 38.)  As I was leaving for the race after picking up my son, Kevin said something that stuck with me.  He said, “You guys do good.  I’d run it with you if I could.”  All I could think of after he said that, was this quote I saw once:

“I run because I can.  When I get tired, I remember those who can’t run, what they’d give to have this simple gift I take for granted, and I run harder for them.  I know they would do the same for me.”

That quote went through my mind many times during this race.  And now I have a feeling it will go through my mind in many more races to come.

*** 2. Memories
I had run a 5k race on this course once before.  It was last year.  I was afraid that running it again would actually make me feel sad because the person I ran it with wasn’t with me this time.  But you know what?  It didn’t make me sad at all.

The course was filled with memories at every turn.  At one point, I remembered how we both felt when we saw this dreaded hill looming ahead and realized just as we got to it that the course veered to the left and we didn’t have to actually run up it.  When I saw the hill this time, I just smiled.  Yep, no sadness.  Just a smile.

I remembered how we stayed at each other’s pace and he refused to leave me during the brief time that I had to stop to walk, when I know he could have gone on ahead easily. When I got to the place that I had to stop and walk that time and the memory filled my mind – again, I smiled.  (And went faster.)

There were many more memories throughout the race.  And many more smiles that accompanied them.  And that made me realize something.  I think something has healed.  And that’s a beautiful thing.

*** 1.  And hands down, the #1 reason why this was my favorite race?  This kid:
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That’s my son.  Now, this isn’t the first time we’ve ran a race together.  But this is the first time that he finished the race well ahead of me (as usual) and instead of waiting at the finish line, he turned around and came back on the course to find me.  I finished the race with my son by my side cheering me on.

So there.  The list is complete.

So, see?  How could this not have been my favorite race?

Oh, wait.  One more notable mention.

Another reason this was my favorite race?  I wrote this whole blog in my head while I was running it.  Combining two of my passions is a beautiful thing.

So blessed to be a runner.

***

“Methinks that the moment my legs began to move, my thoughts began to flow.”
– Henry David Thoreau

Milestone

“I ran and ran and ran every day, and I acquired this sense of determination, this sense of spirit that I would never, never give up, no matter what else happened.”
– Wilma Rudolph

This week I hit a new milestone in my running.  I ran 6 miles without stopping.

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So I titled this blog “Milestone.”  Heh.  Get it?  Milestone.  Oh, witty witty me.

Anyway…

So, yeah.  As you can see from the stats above, I’m not the fastest runner.  Not at all.  And, it was a treadmill run rather than an outside run (which people say is “easier,” but I beg to differ…).  And I know I still have a long way to go before I’m fully ready for this May 4 half marathon I’m signed up for.  I know there are more advanced runners looking at my accomplishment with a knowing smile remembering what it was like way back when they hit a little milestone like this.

But enough of that.  Enough trying to downplay what I just did.

Because, let me tell ya something.

While yes, there may be more advanced runners watching me way back here on my journey (while nevertheless cheering me on like I’ve won the lottery – because that’s how we runners roll), there’s also someone else watching me.

The March 2012 version of Melissa.

Oh yeah.  That girl was standing outside that gym with her hands cupped around her face looking through the window at me on that treadmill running 6 miles….and her jaw still hasn’t come up off the ground.  She’s astounded.  She would have never dreamed that this could be possible.  She couldn’t even run from the car to the front door of her house when it was raining outside to keep from getting soaked.  So, how on Earth could she be staring in this gym looking at this girl who just ran six miles?  SIX MILES?  And yes, it took her an hour and four minutes to do it.  But holy cow – she just ran for over an hour without stopping.  Ran!  For over an hour!  Hello?

Oh, that chick is proud.  Astounded, yes; flabbergasted, definitely; but oh so very proud.

And do you know who else is watching?

The Melissa of March 2014.  She’s one of those advanced runners I mentioned before.  She’s watching me with that all-knowing little grin on her face, wishing that I know now what she’s going to know then.  She wishes I could see that I am working towards such amazing and awesome things that my little mind can’t even comprehend them.  She wishes that I could know that everything is going to be great – my runs, my life, my heart – all of it.  She knows all of that, and just patiently smiles at me as she waits for me to catch up.

She knows that I’ve got this in the bag.  That no matter how long it takes, I’m going to do whatever I need to do to succeed.  She knows that I’m not going to let her down.  I’ve made promises to her that she knows I fully intend to keep.

She knows that I’m going to make it.

In honor of the ‘theme’ of this blog entry, I want to share something that I saw on the “Run Junkees” Facebook page:

Met a fellow runner named Chet over the weekend. He was an old school marathoner, completing his first in 1987. While running a marathon Chet happened along side a fellow runner who was best described as short and stout. Chet engaged the runner in a brief conversation and said “How’s it going?” The runner confidently said “Great! I’m running at world record pace”.  Chet inquisitively replied “World record pace, huh?”  The runner answered “Yep.  My world. My record. My pace.”

Yep.  That’s what running is all about, isn’t it?  Creating your own world – your own goals to reach, your own mountains to climb…your own personal milestones.

Ok.  Enough chatter.  Time to get back to work.

There’s someone in my future waiting for me to make her proud.

***

“The woods are lovely dark and deep, but I have promises to keep,
and miles to go before I sleep,
and miles to go before I sleep.”
– Robert Frost

Letter to my Shin. No, seriously.

Dear Shin Splint,

Ok, we need to talk.

I’ve managed to run for almost a year now without ever knowing what the heck you even were.  And I was fine with that.  I heard people talk about you.  Heard a lot about you actually.  Heard you were a troublemaker.  Heard you were hard to beat.  But I hadn’t had the pleasure of meeting you yet.  I guess I figured you were too busy bothering everyone else to have time to visit me.

Ok, so I was wrong.

(That’s happened maybe once before in my life.  Ok, twice.)

But let me explain something to you.  I have no better way of saying this than to borrow some words of wisdom from none other than the great contemporary philosopher, Beyonce:

“You must not know bout me.”

Do you have any idea how important running is to me?  And how intent I am upon continuing to do it?  Psssh, dude, you can’t even touch my level of determination.  Many before you have tried.  My right knee is laughing at you as we speak.  He has been trying to stop me from Day 1, and he knows he doesn’t stand a chance.  My brain?  Whew.  That chick has you beat all day, every day, and twice on Tuesday.  She has told me SO many times that I’m not good enough to do this.  That I’m not strong enough, that I’m not “this” enough, that I’m not “that” enough.  She has absolutely begged me at times not to get out there and run.  But nope.  Even She hasn’t succeeded.

Because I have something that overpowers all of you.

My Heart.

Oh, honey, let me tell you about my Heart.  That girl is fierce.  She has taken a beating, been ripped in two, and has some mornings felt so heavy inside me that I felt like I couldn’t even get out of bed, much less go for a 4-mile run.  But no matter how exhausted, sad, and lonely She may be, She always – without fail – manages to whisper in my ear, “We can do this.”

“Get up.  Get out there.  WE can do this.”

And even with her little whisper, she speaks more loudly than you or any of your other troublemaker friends can even imagine.  She is who I choose to listen to.  She never ever lets me down.  She’s strong.  She’s tough.  She’s unstoppable.

So, I’m going to keep running.  See this?

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This kind of thing is just too good for me to pass up.  You tag along if you want to, but you’re not going to stop me.  It’s too late for me to turn back now.  I’m in this for the long haul.

Hey – nice try, though.

Sincerely,

Running is Hard Enough Without Your Help, Go Away

***

“Find a place inside where there’s joy,
and the joy will burn out the pain.”

Joseph Campbell

Stronger

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This is the back of the shirt that my son and I got at a 5k race we ran in this morning in honor of Leigh Cooper Wallace, a local hero who passed away a few months ago from complications resulting from pneumonia.  As the race director described it, this was a race “in memory of her compassion and generosity, her service to this community, her incredible strength, her support of young athletes, and her encouragement for all people to pursue a healthy lifestyle.”  They put together this first annual race to honor the “incredible example she set, so that we may continue to live life as fully as she did.

I didn’t have the pleasure of knowing Leigh Cooper Wallace personally, but I can’t help but be influenced by the example she set.  She went through a lot in her short lifetime (most notably being that she was a kidnap/rape survivor), and she used her story to teach others to become fighters – to not let circumstances defeat you, no matter how tempting it might be to give up.

I couldn’t help but be aware of the timing of this race for me personally.

Although I am doing great and getting tougher every day, I do still have my moments.  I’ve had a rough couple of months.  I’ve lost more than one friend to various circumstances, including my very best friend who I miss every single day, and that’s not something that is very easy to bounce back from.  But I’ve been trying.  And as part of the trying, I’ve been pushing myself harder with my running.  If you’re not a runner, it’s hard to explain to you what running does to you.  I know there’s something chemical to it – endorphins and whatnot.  But it’s more than that.  So much more.  It’s a way to measure your ability to endure.  To teach yourself not to give up just because things start getting a little tough – but to push through.  Push through.  Even when you think you can’t keep going, you can.  Yes, there are going to be tough spots and yes, you may have to allow yourself to slow down a little to make it.  But you will make it. Push through.  Endure. Stay strong.

So, not only did I proudly run today with those thoughts in my mind, but I managed to achieve my own personal record.  I’m not a fast runner, by any stretch of the imagination, but I was a lot faster today than the old me ever was.  I managed to fall under the 30-minute mark and ran the race in 29:42.  It has been my goal for a very long time to break 30 minutes and I did it today – on one of of the toughest 5k courses I’ve ever run.

So, how about that?  Here I am.  My first race in this “new life” and I’m starting off with a bang.

Turns out I really am stronger than I think.   Thank you for the reminder, Leigh.

***

“As I get older I see that running has changed for me.  What used to be about burning calories is now more about burning up what is false.  Lies I used to tell myself about who I was and what I could do, friendships that cannot withstand hills or miles, the approval I no longer need to seek and solidarity that cannot bear silence.  I run to burn up what I don’t need and ignite what I do.”
~ Kristin Armstrong

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*Note: Here’s a link if you’d like to read more about what an amazing woman Leigh Cooper Wallace was: 

http://www2.wataugademocrat.com/News/story/Local-runner-coach-Leigh-Wallace-dies-id-009923

Just Do It

“Either you run the day or the day runs you.”
– Jim Rohn

The following is an excerpt from my personal blog – April 20, 2012:

“So it’s really been on my mind lately to start running.  I don’t know why really. It just seems that I’ve been more aware of runners lately. I see them on the street when I’m on my way to work and the thought crosses my mind, “I wish I was them.” I’m out of shape and lazy..which are probably going to be pretty big obstacles in the way of my becoming a runner. But who knows…maybe I can work on that. The thing that appeals to me most is the peace of mind that runners seem to have. I hear so many of them talk about how it clears your mind and helps you forget about the rest of the world while you’re running. Boy do I need that. Anything that can shut this brain up would be a more than welcome addition to my life…”

Wow.  And here I am beginning my second week of a ten-week training plan for a half marathon two months from today.  Crazy, man.  I’m tellin’ ya.

See?  It all starts with just a little thought. (A little thought that I was lucky enough to have written down to be able to go back and look at.) Just one little inkling of a dream.  And then you take that first step out the door, and suddenly that dream is not only coming true, but it starts snowballing and multiplying into bigger and better dreams.  Not just with running – this applies to anything.  If you really want something – you make it happen.  It’s as easy as that.  It’s not a quick fix and it doesn’t happen overnight.  But it happens – and that first step is saying that you want it.  Like I did.

Is there something you’re thinking of doing?  Something maybe that you need to do?  Some little inkling of a dream in there somewhere?  Write it down.  Do it.  Right now.  Get a pen and a piece of paper and write it down.  Then hide it somewhere.  Put it in your wallet – in the glovebox of your car – in a drawer on your bedside table.  Just do it.

And then tell yourself that you can make it happen.  Tell yourself every single day.  Start taking baby steps and make your way towards it.  Every day take one more step – make one more small change, one more small choice towards making it happen.  Even if it’s just opening that drawer and reading it again as a reminder.  Just tell yourself it’s going to happen, and it will.

And it will change you.  I promise.

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Secret Weapon

“Our running shoes are really erasers. Every step erases a memory of a past failure. Every mile brings us closer to a clean slate. Each foot strike rubs away a word, a look, or an event that led us to believe that success was beyond our grasp.”
– John Bingham 

Today is March 1. The beginning of the dreaded month of March.  *Sigh*

March and I have issues that go way back.  For some reason, it seems that notable negative things always seem to happen in my life in this particular month.  And every year I brace myself once again for what seems to inevitably be in store for me.  And even if nothing in particular ends up happening, the awful month still looms there, filled with unwanted anniversaries from the past.

But not this year.  This year is different.  This year I have a secret weapon.  Or, as John Bingham likes to call them – erasers.

This March, I’m a runner.

I started running in April of last year, so March will be the end of a full year of running.  I hate to sound like I’m patting myself on the back here, but I am so freakin’ proud of me.  As someone who has very little patience, running has taught me that the best things sometimes really do take time.  I, like most people, want what I want and I want it NOW.  That is not an option in running.   Running requires patience.  In fact, it demands it.  It’s an endless process of slow, arduous transformation.  And the more I run, the more I realize that process doesn’t just apply to my leg muscles.  It’s a transformation of your mind.  It’s a realization that you really are capable of great things, if you’ll only put forth the time and effort required.  Little by little, day by day.

“Running is about the slow and painful process of being the best you can be. That’s why the first step out the door is always so hard.  That’s when we choose between settling for average and being a superhero version of ourselves.”
– Martin Dugard

I didn’t realize it at the time, but in April of 2012, I made the choice to be a superhero version of myself.  And I continue to make that choice over and over again every time I lace up.

So, you know what?  Bring it on, silly ol’ March.  There’s nothing you can do to me anymore.  I’m a superhero now.

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“My runs always remind me of what life is; always putting one foot in front of the other, even when I’m exhausted. It’s about running up the hill, however daunting, and congratulating myself for not stopping. Life, like running, is about getting up and pushing on ahead, even if I’ve tripped on a pothole. It’s about keeping the rhythm and setting a pace. It’s about minding my injuries and allowing myself time to heal, but not letting injuries get the best of me. Running is like life; it is a glorious, albeit sometimes painful, act of always moving forward.”
– Luci L. Creery

Uphill Both Ways

“When I was your age, we had to walk to school uphill both ways…”
– Every Older Person There Ever Was

Yesterday I ran a route that I’ve been wanting to run ever since I started running.  There hasn’t been much of a reason why I haven’t done it yet.  At first, I wasn’t ready for it (physically or mentally); then I wanted to wait for a special occasion on the calendar (all of which came and went); then it was Winter, etc. etc. etc.  Not sure why I put it off as long as I did.  But yesterday, without even any true destination in mind, I put my running clothes on, hopped in the car, and just drove.  I ended up here:

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This is the house that is still standing in the Potato Creek community in Virginia, where my grandpa was born and raised.  He passed away in February of last year.

He wasn’t much of a talker when he was with us.  Very quiet – filled with secrets.  But my grandmother filled in the gaps.  Through her, I’ve heard about the house he grew up in and have learned about the hilly path he had to walk on to school and back and everyday.  I’ve driven this path many times, but ever since I became a runner, I have always wanted to run it.  It’s not that far to me now (a little more than four miles), but when I first started running, I knew I wasn’t ready for that distance.  And distance wasn’t really the issue anyway.  Holy crap, is that thing hilly!  But I kept telling myself that one day I would be ready to run it.  Turns out, yesterday was the day.

This may have been one of my favorite runs ever.  It may sound crazy, but a part of me felt like my Pa-Paw was actually running with me.  I’m not sure he cared for the Kelly Clarkson, Pink, and Cee Lo Green that was busting out of my headphones, but nonetheless, I think he kept up.  In fact, I think he probably passed me a few times.  Especially on those dang hills!  Did I mention there were hills?  (From now on, when an older person tells me they walked uphill to school both ways, I’m not questioning that statement. I just found out for myself!)

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But man, were those hills beautiful.  The whole route was beautiful.  For a little less than an hour, I stopped thinking, stopped feeling, stopped obsessing, and just ran with my grandpa.

The old school that he went to is no longer standing.  From what I understand, it burned down years ago (long after it was no longer used as a school and was just being used as a barn for local farmland).  After the run, I went and looked at the area a little and this was the only remnants of the school that I found:

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Here’s a view of the whole area where the school stood:

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And still standing (and still in operation on occasion) just beside the old school land is the church that he attended – Potato Creek Church.  Such a beautiful old place that holds many many memories, I’m sure.

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And since I’m sharing pictures, I have to share one last one.  Now, I can’t remember – did I mention that this run was hilly?  HOLY COW, it was hilly.  And at one point, I kid you not, I saw something painted on the road that cracked me up.  I’m convinced that someone else before me tried to run this thing and happened to be carrying a can of spray paint along with them on thier run:

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I feel ya, fellow runner.  That’s exactly how I felt too!

So, anyway, this blog is not going to be like most of my others.  I usually try to wrap up with some type of life lesson that I’ve learned from some experience.  But nope.  Not this time.  I just wanted to tell you about a run with my grandpa that I finally took the time to do.  A run where I cleared my mind, appreciated the scenery, traveled back in time in my mind to try to experience what it had been like for my ancestors before me.  You know – just took a break from everything else and appreciated who I was and where I came from.

Hmmm.  Maybe there’s a life lesson to be learned in this after all.

Thanks for the run, Pa-Paw.