“Yes, sometimes it’s tempting to think of what could’ve been. But what you really need to think of is what ‘would’ve‘ been. And that’s when you realize you’re exactly where you need to be.”
– Richard Edmondson
For those of you who are my Facebook friends, you probably already saw this quote that I posted over the weekend. These words were spoken by my boyfriend, Richard. As soon as I heard them, I knew they were quotable. And as soon as I quoted him, I knew there was a blog here waiting to happen.
So, I sat down at a computer and I started to write. I typed the quote at the top of the page and then….well. Nothing happened. Nothing. Not one single sentence popped into my mind. So much wisdom and meaning lying behind those words he said, and yet I – the one who can type for days about any given subject at any given time – can’t think of a single thing to say? Not one more thing to add? What’s up with that?
Hmmm. Maybe the quote is so profound that it stands alone on its own.
Yep. I think that’s it.
What else needs to be said really?
I mean, think about it. How much of what you think you miss about something – whether it be a relationship from the past, an old home or an old job, a lost friendship, whatever the case may be – how much of that is actual memories and not just what you hoped it would become? I’m betting not too much of it is real. Be honest with yourself. Take that thing that you can’t let go of and examine it through honest eyes for a minute. Would it really be gone if it was as great as you thought it was?
Yes, it could’ve been great. But would it have been?
Richard and I are not young. We both had quite a few failed relationships in our past before we ever laid eyes on each other. We have mountains of memories behind us, and each of us has our own share of regret that we carry along into this relationship from the ones prior. Sometimes the past sneaks up on us and taps us on the shoulder. It’s inevitable. It happens. It happens to us, and it’s going to happen to you. It’s just how life works. The key is knowing what to do when it happens.
Do you let it cause insecurities and chip away at your present situation? Do you let it cause you doubt and make you second-guess your choices? Do you let the fantasy steal the reality?
Or do you do what my Richard does? Do you take a long, slow look around, see the beauty and the blessing in everything that your path has led you to, and wish the past a silent, thoughtful, heartfelt goodbye as you grab on tight to what you have now, safe in the knowledge that you’re exactly where you are meant to be?
I don’t know about you, but that second choice sure sounds a whole lot better to me.
This is what it’s all about. This is where we belong. Not in all of the many yesterdays before us, and not in the vast span of tomorrows to come. But right here. Right now. Right where we were meant to be.
Thanks for the reminder, sweetheart.
“I thought about one of my favorite Sufi poems, which says that God long ago drew a circle in the sand exactly around the spot where you are standing right now. I was never not coming here. This was never not going to happen.”
– Elizabeth Gilbert