charity | MissyRambles

“Greed is not a financial issue. It’s a heart issue.”
– Andy Stanley

Christmastime is here, ya’ll! The time of love and friendship and family and happiness and….greed. Wait, did she just say greed?

Why, yes. Yes, she did.

Greed.

[Now, bear with me here, folks.. This isn’t going to be a Debbie Downer post. I promise. There’s a method to my madness. Sometimes.]

As much as I’d love to think that life is all sunshine and rainbows, sometimes…well, sometimes it’s just not. And there’s something about Christmastime that brings out that horrid green-eyed monster of greed. (Yes, I know “green-eyed monster” is supposed to refer to jealousy, but I couldn’t think of a better analogy so I stole that one. I mean, green = money, right? I think it works better here anyway. So there.)

Think about it: it’s all about spending, spending, spending this time of year. And while, yes, you may be spending money on others, look at what it takes to do it. Black Friday – the notorious day of doom. Trampled customers, fist fights over a food processor or a $99 TV or whatever, miserable store employees getting yelled at by miserable customers. And on, and on, and on.

And aside from the shopping, you see greed in family life as well. Divorced families arguing over where the kids are during which times. Different sides competing over the prime Christmastime slots with the young’uns. Oh yeah, the monster definitely comes out in divorced families with kids during the holidays. Heck, I’ve even recently seen a very financially well-off ex-wife decide that Christmas is a good time to decide to spring a custody/child support suit on the not-so-well-off, devoted father of her children. That’ll teach him, right? Revenge. Greed.

Evil.

I’m telling you, people, it’s enough to make your skin crawl.

I was standing in a gas station the other day during my lunch break from work contemplating which fountain soda I wanted to pollute my body with this time, and which size cup of pollution I was going to spring for, when the concept of greed presented itself to me in full force. After choosing the biggest cup I could find, I put just a bit of ice in the cup (hey, can’t take up room in the cup with ice…sheesh…) and proceeded to fill the cup up to the tippy top rim so I could acquire the absolute biggest bang for my buck. Then, after a cat-and-mouse game of finally finding the right lid for said cup, I sat the cup down on the counter and went to snap the lid down. And…..guess what happened? The cup was too full (of my greed) and the lid caused the syrupy, toxic liquid to spill out over the top. All over my hands, my shirt, the counter, the floor…you name it, Coke was on it.

Dang it.

(And you can bet that lazy, green-eyed monster didn’t stick around to help me clean that crap up either.)

Because of my wanting just absolutely as much as I could get, my greed spilled over onto me and caused a huge mess that I was left to clean up alone. And something tells me that concept is not only going to apply to fountain drinks…you catch my drift?

So, there I was back at work after my lunch break, covered in sticky Coke remnants, when I logged onto Facebook to see if anyone else was having as crappy a day as I was. (Misery loves company, ya know.) And that’s when I saw the post that stopped me right in my tracks. It was a “group post,” meaning that I didn’t know the person from Adam but it showed up in my newsfeed since I was part of the group, and it said simply this: “I am afraid I can’t buy my four kids anything at Christmas.”

Wow.

She went on to explain that she had thought she was going to be able to cover it, but with Christmas just around the corner, it was looking like she wasn’t going to be able to pull it together. Four kids, a single mom, and no money.

My greedy Coke spill quickly because a distant memory as my thoughts immediately went to this woman and Christmastime. What was she going to do? I empathized with her situation. I too know that feeling…I’ve been there many times myself. But somehow, with the help of family and friends, Christmas always managed to be a success for my own kids in the end. We have been very lucky. Very blessed. But I know too well that “momma” feeling of worry and stress over your kids at Christmas. And what if this woman didn’t have family to pitch in to help like I always did? What if she really truly was alone and had no way of providing a Christmas for those four eager, expecting kids?

I just had to do something. I just HAD to.

That’s when the emails started. Emails between myself and this mother (finding out clothes sizes, Christmas list wishes, etc) and emails reaching out to people in the community for help. I posted on Facebook, made some phone calls to local organizations, got some help from the women’s group at the church I attend, and….within hours (HOURS, people)…I had an army of people ready to help this mom.

Wow.

Now, this was only four days ago, mind you. Four short days ago. And as of this moment, Richard and I are going to have to take his truck to be able to fit everything to deliver to this woman tomorrow. For a few days out of this Christmas season, greed was completely forgotten. All around the county (and even surrounding counties thanks to some of my non-local friends), people dropped what they were doing and went out and Christmas shopped for children they had never met in their lives and, frankly, that they probably never would.

In a communication yesterday with this mom, she made this statement, “I just can’t believe this is real.” And you know what? I have to say I agree. That hardhearted, pessimistic woman who stood at that drink fountain cleaning up Coke and thinking about all the greed surrounding her this time of year (including her own) was no more. Now, here she is…not believing that this is actually real. Not believing that a plea for help from one slightly jaded, disgruntled, Coke-covered grinch has managed to turn itself into a crusade. A mission. A swelling of love and generosity that will be soon be turning into a beautiful, happy Christmas in one little mountain home in North Carolina, filled with four smiling faces and one very, very grateful and relieved mom.

Wow. (Have I said, “Wow” yet?)

So, am I changed by this? Oh, you can bet I am. Like you wouldn’t believe. Does greed still exist in this world? Well, of course it does. But from now on, I am going to do my very best to practice a different kind of greed in my own life. From now on I am going to be greedy for things that aren’t things. I am going to start being greedy for human kindness. Greedy for compassion. Greedy for love. I’m going to soak up as much of it as I can. And then do you know what I’m going to do?

I’m going to come back here and I’m going to tell you about it. And I want you to do the same. Let’s start sharing the good stories, shall we?

Get out there and be greedy, my friends.

Merry Christmas.

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[DISCLAIMER: I’m fully prepared for the onslaught of criticism I will receive for this post. Know ahead of time that I’m cool with that. And I get it.]

I hesitated to write this blog. But the more I hesitated, the more I couldn’t get it off my mind. And, as anyone who is a writer knows, if something is in a writer’s mind that needs to come out, it will not stop until it gets out there. If I was ever going to write anything again (including a project that I have due that I need to be working on), I need to get this out and move on. So, here goes.

So, if you’re reading this blog, I can just about 100% guarantee you that you’ve heard about the Ice Bucket Challenge. Why do I say that? Well, if you’re reading this blog, that means you have a computer with internet access. And that is the only criteria you need to have heard about this viral phenomenon. In fact, even if you weren’t sitting here on your computer or cell phone reading this blog, I’m sure you would have seen it on TV or heard of it by word of mouth. Somehow, some way you have heard of the ice bucket challenge. I guarantee you.

Now, which version of it you’ve actually heard might vary. Which version you participated in probably varied. Or hey, like about 75% of the world (I totally just made up that statistic and it has no factual basis whatsoever other than my cynical brainwaves spitting it out there), you probably just dumped some ice water on your head so you could make a video of it and show your friends. Hey, whatever floats your boat. But here is what it is supposed to be. What started as a challenge geared at donating to a variety of random causes, has now been adopted as the “ALS Ice Bucket Challenge” to raise money specifically for ALS (or Lou Gehrig’s Disease as some may know it). There are a variety of theories floating around as to how that part of the story happened (here’s one for instance), so I won’t get into that aspect of it. The point is – there is a challenge that is supposed to go like this: You get “challenged” (i.e. tagged on Facebook by one of your friends) to either (a) dump a bucket of ice water on your head, take a video, post it to Facebook, and then donate $10 to the ALS Association; or (b) don’t do the ice bucket thing and donate a full $100 to ALS.

[Before I go any further, let me go ahead and post the link to donate directly to ALS – it’s found here. You know, if you actually want to do that instead of pouring ice water on your head. I know clicking a button privately is not as fun as broadcasting your participation for the world to see. But hey – the option is here for you crazy rebels who so choose.]

Now, as you can probably gather from my snippy comment above, I have found a little bit of an issue with this challenge. Am I denying that it was an ingenious concept? Heck no! It’s apparently working…and working quite well. (This article says that $22.9 million has been raised for ALS alone.) And that’s awesome. Anything you can do to bring attention to a cause that needs it and raise money for it is fantastic. I’m glad that worked out (and is still working out). I really am. But the problem I have with it goes a little deeper than that. This is one of those “Do the ends justify the means?” kind of deals.

First of all, I have a serious problem with hypocrisy. I mean, a serious problem with it. I am a pretty honest, straight-forward person (too much so at times, I know), and the thing about we straight-forward people is that we kind of expect the same in return. And are most often disappointed with that expectation. This challenge? This challenge goes against everything about that aspect of my personality. No, let me rephrase that. Not the challenge itself, but the way people have taken it and run with it. Now, I know that every social phenomena can be taken advantage of. Every good deed, every good cause, every everything has someone somewhere that can be using it for personal gain. But I feel like this particular cause is actually set up to allow people to do that. I mean, check it out. You get to post a ridiculous video of yourself dumping water on your head. Look at all the attention you’re getting! And depending upon which version of this challenge people have heard about, posting this video means that you did what? You donated!

Now, I’m not the most religious person in the world (at least not in the way most people define it). But there’s a Bible verse that just keeps popping into my head lately.

“That thine alms may be in secret: and thy Father which seeth in secret himself shall reward thee openly.” – Matthew 6:4 KJV

(Or, if you’re not of the mindset that the King James Version is the one that descended from the heavens, then maybe this version will make it a little more clear: “Give your gifts in private, and your Father, who sees everything, will reward you.” – Matthew 6:4 NLT)

The problem I have with this aspect of the challenge is two-fold. 1) I think (no, know) that many of the people posting these videos did not donate. In fact, they probably didn’t even receive any instructions as to how to donate even if they had wanted to. But did that stop them from doing it? No way. They were challenged. They had to. (This is where the hypocrisy comes in.) The other thing that bothers me? The verse I posted above. Even if the people posting the videos did donate, aren’t they broadcasting to the world that they did so? Isn’t that…I don’t know…wrong somehow? And while I’m on this train of thought, let’s look at another Bible verse:

“Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver.” – 2 Corinthians 9:7 KJV

(Again, for you heathen alternate-version users: “You must each decide in your heart how much to give. And don’t give reluctantly or in response to pressure. “For God loves a person who gives cheerfully.” – 2 Corinthians 9:7 NLT)

I’m thinking that’s pretty self-explanatory isn’t it? Should you be giving because you were told to? Because you were challenged to? I just don’t know, man. I just don’t know.

Now, aside from all of that, let me get back down to the other problem I have with this. This is back to that “Does the ends justify the means?” conundrum. Did this challenge raise tons of money for charity? Yep, it sure did. The “end” was a total success. But were the “means” the right way to go about it? Was telling someone to give or face public humiliation for not doing so the right thing to do? Ok, maybe that’s a little harsh. Maybe you’re not exactly “publicly humiliated” if you don’t give. But everyone sees those posts you’re tagged in. And everyone sees that you didn’t post a video. Is the assumption they gather from that that you gave $100 instead of posting a video? I think not. Their assumption is that you didn’t participate at all. And how does that make you look?

The same way writing this blog makes me look. Like a big fat selfish fuddy dud who doesn’t know how to have to fun or give to charity.

Don’t lie. You know darn good and well that’s how it looks. But here’s what you’re probably not thinking about when you’re tagging all these people in these posts. These are some very, very hard times for a lot of people. In case you haven’t noticed, our economy sucks. The area I live in has an unemployment rate that would blow your mind. People are treading water just to get by, and now you want to add insult to injury by making them feel like a jerk if they don’t donate to charity? And aside from that, just because they don’t dump buckets on their head or donate to ALS specifically, how do you know that they aren’t privately donating (as it should be done, in my humble, big-mouthed opinion) to causes that hold their heart? I have a child who, because of a genetic disease, is going to have children that are sick. Unlike a lot of you who are looking forward to grandchildren one day, I am dreading it. I am dreading the doctor’s visits, the genetic counseling, the horrendous choices my little girl is going to have to make. When/if I can afford to donate to a charity – I’m sorry, but that‘s the one I’m donating to. And I’m not going to post a video about it, or broadcast it, or “challenge” you to do the same. I’m just not made that way. And frankly, I just don’t think other people should be either.

I understand that your charity is important. And I wish you the best, I truly do. But my charity is just a tad bit more important to me. It hits closer to home and when my heart leads me and my bank account allows me, I will donate to it. Not because someone told me to, but because I feel like it’s what I need to do.

So, am I a bad sport for not participating in this ALS Ice Bucket Challenge? I guess so. Sorry about that. But now you know why.

And I can guarantee you I’m not the only one who feels this way.

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