Tag Archives: half marathon

Burnout

“Take a rest. A field that has rested gives a bountiful crop.”
– Ovid

I just remembered something.

I’m a runner.

Did you remember that? Because I didn’t. I’m tellin’ ya – I seriously think I forgot about that for a while.

I have these little ‘categories’ set up on my blog. Not sure if anyone ever notices that you can search for writings under the categories, but I thought it was a cool option when I was designing this thing, so I went with it. I set up four categories – Freestyle Writings, Poetic Musings, Running, and Songs. When I first started out, I was afraid that the “running” category would be jam packed, and that my readers who were non-runners would be bored senseless. I was at the peak of my running ‘career’ at that point – training my tail off for my first half-marathon (which I successfully completed in May, by the way). I was full of wit and wisdom for new runners and amateur runners like myself – hoping to show everyone that anyone can do this running thing and that you just have to push through and believe in yourself and persevere through the obstacles…..yada yada. So on and so forth.

But then – well, I don’t know.

I just kinda just stopped that.

I just clicked on my own “Running” tab to see the last thing I had written about running. It was this: https://missyspublicjunk.wordpress.com/2013/06/04/time-to-chill/ Oh. An article called “Time to Chill.” Well, that explains it.

At that time, I was all prepared to purchase this t-shirt and hang up my running shoes:

Yep. I was done for a while.

In other words, I had been….

Hehe. Get it? Running on empty? Oh, the wit.

But I digress.

So, yeah. I had achieved what many of us have achieved in many different areas of our lives at some point. Anytime you’re passionate about something; you spend all your time doing said something; you dedicate your heart and soul and spirit to the something – there exists the risk of running into that little devil who is always waiting just around the corner to put a stop to it all. What is this little devil, you ask?

Burnout.

“Burnout is nature’s way of telling you, you’ve been going through the motions – your soul has departed; you’re a zombie, a member of the walking dead, a sleepwalker.”
– Sam Keen

That’s just it. I had become a sleepwalker.

So, you know what I did? I took a break. And I think that’s the smartest thing I could have done for myself.

In the past few weeks, I’ve noticed that I’ve started feeling the pull again. I started with a few short runs – a mile or two here and there. And slowly, I find myself inching my way back up. A 4-miler here. A 5-miler there. And yesterday – I did my own little 10K just to prove I could. Little by little, I’m making my way back. I saw a post yesterday for a 7-mile run up and down a mountain road here locally. Hmmmm. I have two months to train….

My point is this. Burnout is real. No matter how much you love something, no matter how much a part of your life it becomes, overdoing it can be problematic. It really can. It’s ok to take a break. You know? Chill out a little bit. Let things settle. Let yourself remember why you love this thing so much and why you ever started it in the first place.

Are you a runner? Well, there. Apply this lesson literally. But if you’re not? Well then, I’m sure there’s something you can apply it to.

Maybe even someone? Now, there’s some food for thought.

But see, here’s the thing. When you want it bad enough, when it has become a part of you, it won’t disappear. I promise. Taking a break is not going to un-do any progress you made. This thing you love is not going to go away. Not when it’s real.

Rest easy. Stop worrying. It will be back. You’ll see.

***

“”Sometimes in sports there are times when it is best to wait for another day and try again, at least for me. I see life as the race and I see no honor in reaching the finish and passing out or crawling across the finishing line. In Costa Rica, we have a saying: It’s not about being the first to finish, it’s about how you get there.”
-Roman Urbina

Posted by Melissa Edmondson. Categories: Running. Tags: blog, blogging, break, burnout, change, half marathon, health, heart, inspiration, inspirational, motivational, passion, photos, problems, Quotes, relationships, runner, running, writing. 2 Comments

Jun. ’13

Time to Chill

I’m about to do something that I have never done so far in my “career” as a runner.

I’m backing out of a race.

I was scheduled to run the Bear in July. For those who missed my blog about it, this is a 5-mile race straight up a mountain. When I signed up for this thing back in February, I knew it was going to be quite a challenge. I was prepared to put in the training and do what it took to be able to run this bear of a race and be able to say that I did it. Nothing was going to stop me.

Well. February was four months ago. A lot has happened since then.

I don’t want to sound like I’m making excuses. But frankly, I am. Since February, I have

trained for and ran a half marathon. (Go me!)
My daughter has been cast as the lead in a local theatre production (and I have been cast as a chorus member), which means the theatre is our second home. It takes a great deal of our time and attention.
I have made the decision to move into a new home and have had to tackle the stresses that come along with any move.
I have hurt my foot in some phantom way (no clue how it happened – but it’s definitely getting better!), which has slowed my running down a great deal.

Oh, I could keep listing things, but honestly, it doesn’t matter. Because basically?

Well. Basically, I’m just tired.

I’ve noticed that ever since my half marathon has been over, my thoughts keep going back to this dreaded Bear race in July. It has been a constant worry in the back of my mind. Through everything else I’m doing in my life, there’s the undercurrent of, “I should be training for the Bear. I should be training for the Bear. I should be training for the Bear.” To be quite honest, it has become a nuisance. So, after some soul searching, I have decided to back out of the race.

For a while, I struggled with that decision. I called myself a quitter. Told myself that, whether I realize it or not, other people are watching me through this process because of my blog articles and my Facebook posts. By quitting, I am sending a message to my readers that giving up is ok. That running is not the awesome thing that it is and that you shouldn’t push yourself to try bigger and better things. I didn’t want this to be the message I conveyed.

But finally, I just decided to stop beating myself up.

I decided to look at it a different way.

Here’s what I want this decision to show you. No one is perfect. NO ONE. If you’re a beginner runner (or maybe even just someone thinking about running), I know how intimidating it is to see these “experienced” runners do all the things they’re doing – the half marathons, the 5Ks, the 10Ks, the mountain-climbs. Believe me, I know. I was you just a little over a year ago. I didn’t think that these runners were human. I thought they weren’t like me – they didn’t have life stresses that get in the way, or days when they just felt too tired to run. They were machines, not a flawed, tired human being like me. Well, guess what? I was wrong. They were just like me. And I’m just like you. We all need a break sometimes. We all need to go easy on ourselves and not push ourselves to the brink of exhaustion.

I mean, after all, when it ceases to be fun – then what’s the point?

I enjoy running. I enjoy appreciating the new, healthier person that I have become because of it. Nothing will ever stop me from being a runner. But for a little while, I think I might hold off on pushing myself to the next limit. I’m just going to enjoy where I am now, maybe enter a few local 5Ks here and there, and just relax for a while. No pressure, no training, no pushing – just running.

I’m taking a little break from the stress.

And that’s perfectly okay.

***

“It was being a runner that mattered, not how fast or how far I could run. The joy was in the act of running and in the journey, not in the destination. We have a better chance of seeing where we are when we stop trying to get somewhere else. We can enjoy every moment of movement, as long as where we are is as good as where we’d like to be. That’s not to say that you need to be satisfied forever with where you are today. But you need to honor what you’ve accomplished, rather than thinking of what’s left to be done.”
– John Bingham

Posted by Melissa Edmondson. Categories: Freestyle Writings/Musings, Running. Tags: blog, break, changed, half marathon, health, heart, inspiration, inspirational, marathon, motivation, motivational, passion, photos, Quotes, race, run, runner, running, writing. 4 Comments

May. ’13

Now what?

Ok. The half marathon is over. I have officially achieved the goal that has been in the back of my mind ever since I started running about a year ago. I put in the training. I put in the sweat. I put in the fear and worry. And now here I am. I did it. I’m a half marathoner!

Sigh.

Now what the heck do I do with myself??

I’m telling you, I was barely home from the race before I was doing an online search to try to find another one. This girl is hooked! Now that I’ve felt that euphoric feeling at the finish line, I want to feel it again and again and again. And I don’t just mean more half marathons. Yep, that’s right. I’m even looking into a full marathon. If I can do a half, I can do a full, right? Let’s do this! I’m stoked!

But……I have to be patient.

Sigh. The biggest dirty word in my vocabulary, and it starts with a “P.” Patience. Blech.

I have oftentimes made reference to how running and relationships have a lot in common. Especially for me. And I think this is going to be another good example. (And, as I’ve discovered since I’ve started blogging…this will probably ring true for a lot of you as well. I’ve never been more aware of how alike we all really are until I started this blog and got so much feedback from all of you about how you’ve identified with so many of the things I’ve said. Isn’t it nice to know we’re all in this together?)

So, I have often felt myself feeling this same feeling of euphoria at times during a relationship. You have a good night out together…a sweet, tender moment…a milestone of some sort, and suddenly, you start to get a little ahead of yourself.

“Look how well we look in that picture…we are PERFECT for each other!”

“Look what a good weekend we had…I want to spend every waking moment with him/her!”

“Look how much we enjoy being together…we should get married!”

Whoaaaa now.

I’m not the only one who has been guilty of these thoughts, and I know it. I have female friends. I’ve heard them echoed from them as well. Why the heck do we do that? Why do we get in such a hurry to push past the happy moments of “now” into what we think will be the happier moments of “tomorrow”?

Chill!

Ya know? Just chill.

Bask in the moment. Enjoy it for a while. Enjoy this stage and celebrate this victory, this success, and don’t be in such a hurry to get to the next stage. Because you know something about that next stage? That next stage is hard. Getting to this point you’re at now wasn’t all that easy, remember? There were tough times where you thought you wouldn’t make it. Obstacles that almost stopped you. Outside influences that almost kept you from your goal. Am I talking about running or relationships here? What’s the difference really? Whether we’re talking about sore muscles and sweat in training, or awkward misunderstandings and arguments with dating, this same thing stands true. Each phase takes work. Hard work. And yes, the end result is rewarding and it is worth it. It’s wonderful. But there are no shortcuts.

None.

So, rather than being in such a hurry to jump to the next phase, maybe it’s ok to hang out here for a while. The next phase will be there when you’re ready. In fact, the more time you decide to wait to start that next phase, the more prepared you’ll be.

And the more prepared you are, the more glorious the result.

***

“There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.”
– Beverly Sills

Posted by Melissa Edmondson. Categories: Freestyle Writings/Musings, Running. Tags: blog, change, dating, friendship, half marathon, heart, inspiration, inspirational, love, marathon, motivation, motivational, New River Marathon, passion, photos, Quotes, race, relationships, runner, running, writing. 2 Comments

May. ’13

I did it!

“Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.”
– T.S. Eliot

Well, it’s official. I’m a half marathoner.

And let me tell ya…it was HARD! This course was definitely no walk in the park. (Ok, admittedly there was some walking, but there was NO park. I swear.)

I really am so proud of myself. Somewhere deep inside of me, I truly wondered if I could do it. During my long training runs, my legs were so heavy and so weak. I never made it up to a full 13.1-mile run in training (11 was my furthest), so I was so scared that I might not actually be able to make it that far. Especially on this extremely tough course. It helped me though to see quotes like the one by marathoner Alberto Salazar: “I had as many doubts as anyone else. Standing on the starting line, we’re all cowards.” Made me feel less alone. Made me realize that what I was feeling was what most everyone feels or had felt at some point in their running process. Even elite marathoners.

But, alas, I did it. I made it!

And here’s a short list of awesome things from the race:

I made a running buddy along the course. He was an older man from the Winston-Salem, NC area. Silly me – I didn’t even ask his name. Nor did he ask mine. But we leap-frogged each other throughout the race. Kept each other company at times. Chit-chatted about our jobs, our families, etc. It was nice running a half-marathon and having a conversation every so often.
I saw a shirt that said “Slow and steady, my ass! This is my top speed!” That made me giggle.
I saw a shirt that said “Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. (Hebrews 12:1).” That made me smile.
I saw my friend Kelly who broke her foot during training for this race, out there running anyway after only having been out of her cast for about 2 or 3 weeks now. I was in awe.
I got “I love you” and “You got this!” texts from the man I love during the race. Priceless.
I got “Run Forrest Run!” texts from my coworker during the race. Sigh.
I got close to the finish feeling like I might not make it, and rounded a curve and saw my boyfriend Richard’s friends (ok, my friends) standing on the side to cheer me on – the same people who I cheered on during their half marathons and marathons in New York last year. That made me cry.
I got to the finish line and saw Richard and my son Jeffrey waiting for me (after their own 5K race) with smiles and cheers. And saw my son (who never ever EVER remembers or cares to take a picture of anything) poised with his camera waiting to snap a picture of me crossing the finish line.
I got this from my boyfriend as a post-race gift:

The shirt says “13.1 wuz worth it.” And yes, it was. Awesome gift. Awesome man. Lucky girl.

And probably my favorite moment from the race:

My son’s dad called him to see how the race went. And without missing a beat, Jeffrey immediately began telling him my finishing time and details from the half marathon. Momentarily forgetting that he himself had just finished second in his age group in his own 5K and won an award for it. Talk about a proud mom. That definitely started the waterworks flowing, and I’m not sure he even realized what he had done. In fact, I’m sure he didn’t. Feeling my son’s pride in me was like nothing else.

I know there are a million more things I could list that I loved about this race. But those are the highlights. Point is – this was a beautiful experience that I won’t soon be forgetting.

So, in honor of all that I have overcome in training for this race, and in life in general – two divorces, two bouts with cancer, a bad car accident during training, a breakup at the beginning of training (which ended up in a glorious reconciliation mid-training), and just a general past filled with doubt and uncertainty about myself and my abilities – this race is for you.

I can do anything.

And so can you.

***

“The miracle isn’t that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start.”
-John Bingham

Posted by Melissa Edmondson. Categories: Freestyle Writings/Musings, Running. Tags: accident, blog, change, changed, family, friendship, half marathon, health, heart, inspiration, inspirational, marathon, motivation, motivational, New River Marathon, passion, performance, photos, Quotes, race, run, runner, running, writing. 9 Comments

May. ’13

So Long, Comfort Zone

“The further you can get away from yourself, the more challenging it is. Not to be in your comfort zone is great fun.”
– Benedict Cumberbatch, actor

Well, here it is. My last official blog entry before I become a half-marathoner. Originally, I planned for yesterday’s post to be the last. But I decided I had just a little bit more to say. I know….shocking.

I saw the above quote and it really made me think. First of all, the quote is by an actor. I’m an actor too, so I really identify with it. Each and every time I step foot out onto a stage, I am terrified. It’s true. I’ve been acting for as long as I can remember, but still…it happens every single time. And yet I keep going back for more. Why?

This is why:

I step out of my comfort zone and on to the magic of the stage. And I’m transformed. Before I know it, the fear is gone, and I become whomever I’m supposed to become for those two hours under the spotlights.

And now, this weekend, it’s time to do that again.

Tonight will be the first forage out of my comfort zone. I’m singing in public for only the second time in my life, aside from musicals. Musicals are different though. I’m someone else when I’m singing in a show. But in front of that little microphone on that little stage in our local restaurant/bar, I’m just Melissa. And let me tell ya – that is SCARY. The first time I did this, I was terrified. (I may have even fumbled a word or two but don’t tell anybody…) But I did it. And it didn’t suck too bad, I don’t think. Tonight, I’m ready to do it again. And you know what’s funny?

I’m not really all that scared this time.

Why is that? Well, I guess it’s because I’ve already faced that demon. I faced it, conquered it, and now I know it’s no big deal. Now I’m ready to get up there beside the man I love and make some music with him. It’s worth the nerves because it makes me happy. It makes my heart happy.

It’s magic.

I know now what it feels like outside of the comfort zone when it comes to singing there. I know the joy that comes from walking away from that microphone after having done something that I thought I couldn’t do. I know the pride that comes from overcoming fear and just throwing caution to the wind in order to just go for it.

Which brings me to tomorrow. I’m ready to feel all of that all over again. Only this time, my “stage” will be a 13.1-mile running course.

I’ve never run a half marathon before. I’m scared. It’s outside of my comfort zone, for sure. But just like overcoming the fear to sing, I’ll overcome this fear as well. And I’m going to have fun. And I’m going to love it. And I’m going to be proud.

Just like stepping onto the stage in theatre, it’s time to step across that starting line of fear. For a few hours (hopefully not too many!), I’ll again be transformed. I’ll take that leap out of my comfort zone into new and unchartered territory.

Time to step into the role of a half-marathon runner.

Time for some magic.

***

“Magic is believing in yourself.
If you can do that, you can make anything happen.”
– Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Posted by Melissa Edmondson. Categories: Freestyle Writings/Musings, Running. Tags: acting, blog, change, changed, comfort zone, comfortable, half marathon, health, heart, inspiration, inspirational, marathon, motivation, motivational, New River Marathon, passion, photos, Quotes, race, runner, running, singing, theatre, writing. 3 Comments

May. ’13

Community

Com·mu·ni·ty \kə-ˈmyü-nət-ē\: a unified body of individuals
– Merriam Webster Dictionary

The more I get into running, the more I realize what a community we runners really are. And these last few weeks have driven that point home for me more than ever before.

First of all, of course, there was the Boston marathon bombing. Have any of us ever seen such an outpouring of love and respect among our fellow runners? So many runners donned their printed out “bibs” in honor of Boston and logged mile after mile in honor of all who were affected. Each and every one of us knew how easily it could have been us. I have never witnessed the Boston marathon, but I did travel with a group of friends to watch the Wineglass Marathon in New York last year. The place I was camped out to get pictures of my friends as they finished, was exactly the spot where the bombs went off in Boston. It easily could have been me. Or someone I love. And every runner feels the same. We are empathetic towards our fellow runners and their families because it hits so close to home. We don’t know what to do to help, so we run. We run in honor and respect for the members of our community, whether we “know” them or not. They are our family.

And on that same note, I have made a few dear friends through running whom I have yet to even lay eyes on.

When I first started running a little over a year ago, I used the Couch to 5K Running plan to get started. I then “liked” the Facebook page of the same name so I could watch other people through their struggles and successes to know that I was not alone. Before long, I began posting as well, sharing my own stories and milestones. It quickly became my primary source for motivation and inspiration and is, without a doubt, the reason I stuck to the plan and was successful. On this site, I interacted with many people, but a few in particular stood out. One of whom is my friend, Connie. Connie was a non-runner who was determined to run a 5K for her 60th birthday. I was inspired by her story, so I followed her closely and soon began to chat back and forth since we were at the same point in the plan. We “graduated” almost simultaneously, together with our other e-friend Kristen, and have since all remained close friends and fellow runners. We are even making plans to all meet in Rhode Island to run a 5K together in the fall. (Kristen is from Massachusetts, Connie from Rhode Island, and I am from Virginia).

Yesterday, I went to my mailbox and found this:

A gift from Connie. A running t-shirt that says “EyeBeeLeaf.” The note says:

“We believe anything is possible.
We work hard to achieve our goals.
Here’s a gift from Connie to wear when you run.
Eye Bee Leaf.”

How amazing is it that this friend, whom I have never even met, cares enough about me and about running in general to so generously reach out and provide support to another runner? This truly is a community. A family. And it was no coincidence that this shirt arrived just a few days before my first half marathon that is coming up on Saturday. As my friend Connie likes to say, “It’s Kismet!”

I so can’t wait to meet my friends in person in September!

And while we’re on the subject, check out this message I received on my last blog entry about my fear of this upcoming half marathon:

“Good luck! From Melbourne, Australia!
I just wanted to let you know how much I’m enjoying your writing. I found you when I was searching running blogs as I’m a new runner myself and totally obsessed. You write so evocatively and thoughtfully, and I often find myself smiling or nodding along to your musings! Best of luck with your half, you’ll smash it!
Warm regards, Zoë “

Wow. Just wow. 🙂 All the way across the world, in Australia, is another member of my “community.” And I didn’t even know about her until today.

I also received this message from my local friend Shannon this morning with regard to this half marathon:

“There will be a great adrenalin rush in the beginning, but remember to pace yourself and run your race.
There will be people who pass you and you’ll feel you are not doing good enough, but pace yourself and run your race.
You will worry that you won’t be able to finish at some point, but just keep going at your pace and run YOUR race.
There will come a time when you will think “I got this!” But still pace yourself…and run your race!
It’s a lot like life.”

I hope she doesn’t mind my sharing her poetic words. They were too good to keep to myself.

So, see what I mean? We are such a caring community of runners. Such a family of like-minded individuals from all over, who all know what it is like to change our life one footstep at a time. I’m so honored and humbled to be a part of such an amazing group of people.

I am a runner.

***

“Running is not, as it so often seems, only about what you did in your last race or about how many miles you ran last week. It is, in a much more important way, about community, about appreciating all the miles run by other runners, too.”
– Richard O’Brien

Posted by Melissa Edmondson. Categories: Freestyle Writings/Musings, Running. Tags: blog, boston, change, changed, community, EyeBeeLeaf, family, friendship, half marathon, health, heart, inspiration, inspirational, marathon, motivation, motivational, New River Marathon, passion, performance, photos, Quotes, race, runner, runners, running, tshirts, writing. 3 Comments

May. ’13

The Wait

Well, it’s here. This is the final countdown to my first half marathon – a 13.1-mile scenic race filled with unbelievably steep hills in the mountains of North Carolina. It’s only 3 days away. And how do I feel? Prepared? Upbeat? Optimistic? Ready to apply all of these weeks of training to what I know will be an ultimate success?

Ha. I wish.

I am TERRIFIED.

I am wondering what the heck I was thinking signing up for this thing! People come from all around to run in this popular race. Real runners. People who have been running for longer than the measly year that I have been running. People who are fast. People who are fit. (People who didn’t just drink a Strawberry Sunkist for breakfast.)

I’m thinking I should have bought this to wear during the race:

Because that’s how I’m feeling right now. Can I really do this? Am I really prepared?

Anyone who has ever trained for a race knows that the last week before the race is what we call “tapering.” No more long runs. No more real “training,” per se. It’s basically just waiting. Yes, you can do a 2 or 3-mile run here and there. But those long runs that prove to yourself that you really do have what it takes to put the time and effort into it that’s required? Yeah, those runs are gone. It’s time to relax. Rebuild. And wait.

Sigh. Wait.

That, my friends, is something I am NOT good at.

This waiting is driving me crazy. I feel like I should be out there every day trying to run 13.1 miles to show myself that I can do it. I feel like I should go to the gym during every spare second of my day. I feel like I should only be eating tofu or something. Oh heck, I don’t have a clue what I should be doing. But sitting here waiting just feels…wrong. It goes against my nature. And it’s making me grumpy.

Here’s another shirt I need:

So, yes. It’s a rough week. This can definitely not be chalked up to the finest week of my half marathon training, that’s for sure. My positive mood and my warrior attitude is taking a temporary hiatus. But that’s all it is. Just temporary.

Because I know what will happen Saturday.

Saturday, I will be standing amongst thousands of other runners who have had the same kind of week I’ve had, more or less. Who have also had the ups and downs of training. Who have also, at times, doubted their abilities but yet rose above that doubt and walked to that starting line anyway. Just like I will. I will stand among fellow runners, fellow humans, fellow fighters. And I will do what I didn’t think I would be able to do.